Wishing You Were Somewhere Else

2009-12-31T22:44:00.000-08:00

This will be my last post. I've realised that it's not so fun to write on a blog. I remember when i first started a blog, it was because atem, yana and i needed some medium where we could always update each other on whatever was going on in our lives - because we never got to meet up after form 5.

Anyway, i've gone back to the old-fashioned way of writing in a diary :). It's tiring on the hands, but it has it's perks too :)

p.s Happy New Year!! And i saw Redza walk (finally!!!) yesterday ~~lalala

2009-11-23T09:26:00.000-08:00

The previous week has been really taxing on me. As optimistic as i usually was, i was finding it really hard to keep myself afloat. Lately, i've been speaking to a few people and we were contemplating why most of us seemed to have lost our drive to work hard and perform well. You can ask me a thousand times and i'll say over and over again that i'm totally loving NS. Bile bace buku neuroscience, i'm just awed at times by it's brilliance. Overwhelming as it is, it is also interesting as hell. But honest to god, i can't seem to apply this interest during my weekly exams. I feel so bored of the weekly exams.And before i get to feeling totally indifferent about it, i think i should do something.

And i think i found part of the answer during the weekend. :) Not exactly about how to get excited about weekly assessments but about sustaining my inner drive and motivation.

p.s will have to continue later. anatomy beckons :)

Bite sized nuggets

2009-11-08T01:54:00.000-08:00

My friends have started complaining that i don't update them anymore whether by phone or blogging. Hee...sorry. I'm guilty as charged. I seriously have been a bit AWOL with you guys. But i'm making up for it. I'm going to cram up as much stuff as possible in this post k. (Atem:i did reply you real fast that day though :P)

All you need to know in bite sized info:

1. LTDJ is in a month or so and it's keeping me busy as hell. Am i enjoying my work as the secretary? I'm not going to lie, it goes right up my alley. But do i want to do it again? Not for a long while..

2. I'm excited about our motivational program for LTDJ. I'm excited to learn the modules from Khalifah Institute. And i hope that if we do well, we can set up our own motivation unit. There's a lot i need to learn when it comes to this field, but i have a outcome i've set in my mind, something i'd like to see happen in the future. So if i need to take baby steps to get there, i'm all for it.

3.I've lost interest in something and i'm making efforts to gain it back, insya-Allah

4. I'm in love with the brain :p. CNS has been great so far. The brain in itself is a huge topic and nothing fails to amaze me.

5.I found out that my brain is more concrete sequential dominant and that i don't like risks and that i need to be more random. No surprises there.

6. My nephew Redza makes me smile like a crazy person when im alone. I miss him terribly all the time and am constantly worried he'll forget me whenever i don't see him for a few weeks. He claps when you show him a piccie of a baby clapping! And dances!And still sleeps in weird positions.

7.I can't wait for January to come cause there are so many things i want to start.

8.I have successfully reduced the number of hours i need to sleep in a day.

9.I'm reading books by Torey Hayden and am so in awe of her. I think Maya would be perfect doing what Torey does.

10. I know and love my housemates more.The house is always filled with laughter, even when there's a quarrel going on. :P

11. I still don't have a boyfriend.So i think i'll win the bet :p

11. I miss you guys loads and i wish i could be telling you guys all this in person :).

2009-09-14T10:43:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired nowadays. Seriously, i always seem to be lacking of sleep, there always seems to be something that needs to be done, my planner lists one meeting after another...and materials that need to be studied keep piling up.

I think that i may have bitten off more than i can chew. Tapi Prof.Latiff always says and my sister always reminds me that ' A Muslim never rests until he/she is in the grave' and i do think that too a certain point all these things i'm involved in are important to me and for me.

But when you have too many of these stuff, you kind of have to start prioritizing. And i think I've a least let one very important responsibility of mine slip by, and it's been bugging me for the last few weeks.

So i decided it was time for some spring cleaning.And so i made a list. And i scratched out some things from the list. And i do feel a bit better, if only a bit.

p.s I failed for the very first time. Hemato dapat 48. Bayangkanlah, 85% of the class failed. When the failure rate is that high, i have to say, i don't think the problem lies with the students...But back on the subject of me failing for the first time, i'm proud to say i didn't go into shock or anything :p

p.p.s I went for the ESQ leadership training. I found the content refreshing, interesting and definitely the best among any motivation/ leadership courses ive been to so far. But the way they decided to present the information...let's just say at times i felt traumatized + horrified. Tapi kite amik dgn kite bende yg baik saja, n there were loads of good stuff to learn from this programme.

p.p.p.s I'm getting tired of placing my confidence and giving my support to certain people. Rasenye cam lately, i've been making up too many excuses to cover their faults.

Randoms

2009-09-07T10:10:00.000-07:00

I read about the 'cow-head' demonstration thingy everyday and it angers and embarrasses me how stupid and ignorant some people are. How some people claim they know Islam yet do stuff that is totally against what it teaches. Watching the council meeting video and Hishamuddin's press conference i'm only left with disgust and a certain sense of sadness.

We talked about tolerance that day. Because we see less and less of it being practiced. And i don't agree with what you think. That tolerating something you don't agree with means being weak, giving in.

(Fight in the cause of Allah those who fight you, but do not transgress limits; for Allah loves not transgressors) (Al-Baqarah 2:190)

Intermission

2009-09-03T11:39:00.000-07:00

I haven't written in ages. Not because i have nothing to say but i'm having trouble sorting out my thoughts - and there are so many of them going through my mind.

Trust me to use the few hours before my final exam to sneak in a post :p. This is so weird - I'm feeling relaxed and happy...yet the numerous papers strewn around my mattress signals to me that I'm not supposed to. My mind is definitely not on this final exam.

You know, it's so weird ~ this block has been one of the most challenging ones so far, what with the missed classes, the asthma attacks, the added tasks tapi I think it would be hard for me to pinpoint a day where i didn't go to bed feeling happy.I guess while i had all these other things that were seemingly bringing me up, i also had a myriad of other things that were boosting me up :) As usual, God works in mysterious ways.

This recent phase of complacency is a bit troubling tapi some people tell me it's a good thing for me.

So much to say! But i should stop now.

p.s My mum datang esok!

Post - Quarantine

2009-08-12T08:41:00.000-07:00

Being quarantined leaves you with loads of time. Time which should be used for example, on studying the sgt banyak topics of anatomy for respi. But there's only so much anatomy i can take before my mind starts rejecting terms like rima glottidis and arytenoids.

So i had time to think. And write. And make lists. And look back on lists i made before. I found a list i made during the early part of 1st year, and one i made about 2 months ago. What struck me was the total contrast between the two lists, which listed things i wanted to do or complete - which mirrored my priorities during those two periods. Agak best to see my different states of mind :)

Anyway, i think this quarantine was a blessing in disguise. One thing that bummed me out about the fact that my 2 month holiday was cut down to only a mere 8 days in JB was because i didn't get to spend enough time with my mum. Rase like dah lame tak cakap2 with her and i was missing her. So when her time in KL coincided with my quarantine moments, it was truly perfect timing :). Alhamdullilah.

2009-07-10T07:14:00.000-07:00

A lot has been said regarding the issue of PPSMI. Honestly, i didn't find too much fault with the decision. I've always felt the decision to teach Maths and Science in English earlier on wasn't really implemented that well, and from what i've observed, the level of English of the kids during that phase hasn't really improved that much.

I was part of the generation of students that learnt almost everything in BM. Did i have trouble coping with the sudden change of having to study in English when i entered Foundation. Nope, cause Alhamdullilah i had a good English background,I read loads of English books and i spent most of my time conversing in English.

So i think what's more crucial is improving the student's punye English language proficiency through a better teaching of the English language itself. If they have a good basic grasp of the language that it wouldn't be so much of a problem learning other stuff in English later on.

2009-07-06T09:42:00.000-07:00

Another orientation session is over. This one was extremely tiring as the planning process started much earlier. It was especially tiresome having to think of modules over the phone, especially when Fifah and i seemed to be calling each other at different hours of the day.

Tapi this was also one of the funnest orientations i've been involved in when i look at the aspect of the people i had to work with. Sgtlah suke the fact that most of the facis were staying over at our apartment and the bisingness and hoohaaness and bonding is something i'm going to miss when i stay an extra one week in cyber starting tomorrow.

Certain things we did during this orientation i hope will bear some positive outcomes. I even volunteered to give a taskirah, which was something i never planned tapi it was part challenge for myself/part being forced by other people. I have nothing against giving a taskirah or anything tapi i've never done it for a big group of people.

People keep on telling me i'd have no problem doing it because i've done other forms of public speaking. But the thing is when i'm debating or story-telling or doing a forum, i'm not really expecting to impact the audience that much nor do i really believe much in the words im saying.

So, this time it was much, much different. But i've always felt that if you just stay in your comfort zone, without trying something new, you'll never amount to much, so i did it. I think it went okay...kids actually did come up to me after that to ask me questions on the things i talked about and i got positive feedbacks :)

'You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.'
- Eleanor Roosevelt

2009-06-23T10:30:00.001-07:00

Something i found out today about someone dear to me has made me extremely happy. So much so that i can't stop smiling..weeee!!

Haha..i guess this post has no relevance at all. Just about me being happy.

InsyaAllah, everything from here onwards will go smoothly.

2009-06-10T09:32:00.001-07:00

I think i've been getting to hung up over matters and it's been harder and harder to be the 'bigger person' in situations i find myself in.Instead, i've decided to just not care, finding it to be the more attrative option at times.

Which is ironic, since i was just writing that day about how happy it makes me to see that people care.

Now that i think of it, how certain things have played out, to some extent part of the fault lies with me.

"Kind words and forgiving of faults are better than Sadaqah (charity) followed by injury. And Allâh is Rich (Free of all wants) and He is Most-Forbearing"
[2:263]

2009-06-07T09:28:00.000-07:00

Haix..i agak sedih sebenarnyer. About a very trivial matter...but some things just don't change u noe?

Tapi my friends define me as someone very optimistic and when they have problems, it's usual for them to come to me to help them find the light at the end of the tunnel.

I should be able to do that for myself too right? :)

Okay! Think positive!

p.s missing redza,jb and my ISM buddies terribly.

2009-06-05T11:46:00.000-07:00

This week has been a kaleidoscope of emotions for me. I've gone through bouts of anger, frustration, gratefulness, helplessness, disgust, amazement and sometimes sheer happiness.

Thanks to those who so willingly helped and gave their support. It never fails to lift my spirit when i see people care :)

I feel so blessed.

"A candle loses none of its light by lighting another candle."

2009-05-31T10:53:00.000-07:00

Those who spend [in Allâh's Cause - deeds of charity, alms, etc.] in prosperity and in adversity,who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allâh loves Al-Muhsinûn(the gooddoers).

(Al-`Imran 3:134)

Too Cute For Words

2009-05-29T10:16:00.000-07:00

A whole day of kelam kabutness with plans going astray, not to mention getting my ass kicked by a psycho test. Balik ke d'sara dgn perasaan stress..until i saw this little dude...

Happiness:)Alhamdullilah

2009-05-27T10:13:00.000-07:00

A friend(A) and I decided to do a little bit of intervention with a friend(B) of ours who in our minds seemed to have changed drastically over the last few weeks. The plan was to draw out the reason for her change and to a certain point to lessen the gap that had somehow opened up between us.

Unfortunately, the plan didn't go to well. I had told A from the start that under no circumstance was she to get emotional. That we were not going to provoke B into getting defensive. Tapi from the start, it was as if A had not heard anything i said. From what was supposed to a be a reconciliation of sorts, it turned into a blaming game.

I hate it when people let their emotions take over. When they feel that they need to prove their point with raised voices, accusations and heavy sarcasm. You think you are changing the minds of those listening but you only lower your own credibility.

Singa tue

2009-05-27T09:56:00.000-07:00

I fell down...again. Remember XJ, how we used to say cempedak nangke? It was exactly like that :). One good thing has come out from this fall - i sleep a lot more due to the meds...but not a good thing when i remember i have double the usual topics coming out for this week's assessment.

We celebrated Nebbe's & Amal's bday with a small surprise act yesterday. Decided to utilize my back pain to the max..hehe. I think Nebbe thought it was all a prank until i started crying. Amal of course being our resident drama queen was emotional..i think she nearly had a heart attack. Anyways, kudos to you two. At least i know now if i had a real emergency you guys are definitely the ones to depend on :)

My friends call me 'singa tue' now. Because of my back pain..and the fact that apparently i've become more garang now. Betul ke? (as my babun bro would say).

Reflections

2009-05-19T07:38:00.000-07:00

It just struck me today, that i have less than a month left before i end my first year. With that thought in mind and the recent LTDT program in Terengganu hullabaloo just over, there's a lot to think about and reflect on.

There are still so many things i have yet to complete.

I still have trouble sleeping. I'm trying out a few remedies now:) InsyaAllah it'll help.

I think at times i try to do to much and sometimes that causes me to neglect things that are more important.

Rase sgt bersalah at times.

About honey and bees

2009-05-13T11:26:00.000-07:00

When i was in primary school, my mum bought a set of books about explaining about the life of bees, ants and other insects. I remember being intrigued by the one about bees. Certain bits of information about these honey making creatures that i can still remember till now are like how they have 5 eyes, how their wings flap more than 11,000 times per minute or how there were quite fastidious about cleanliness. And i found it crazy that they had to visit 2 million flowers to get a pound of honey.

Ever since i started my first year, i constantly have these 'wow' moments, where i'm just bowled over by the incredibleness of God's creations. Of course everywhere around us we're reminded of His greatness but it's a different sense of awareness when it is in regards to the human body, something that is happening inside us.

Recently i learnt that the heart doesn't feel pain. I had no idea about that before this. I learnt that it is through the orchestrated openings and closings of the ion channels that brings about the contraction of our heart. Amazing, ain't it?

2009-04-27T12:27:00.000-07:00

Narrated 'Alqama:

I asked 'Aisha, mother of the believers, "O mother of the believers! How were the deeds of the Prophet? Did he use to do extra deeds of worship on special days?" She said, "No, but his deeds were regular and constant, and who among you is able to do what the Prophet was able to do (i.e. in worshipping Allah)?"

Sahih Bukhari Volume 8, Book 76, Number 473:

ROAD LESS TRAVELED

2009-04-26T03:05:00.000-07:00

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference

Robert Frost

When i read this poem ages ago during secondary school i thought it was kind of inspirational. A friend mailed it to me yesterday and reading it again,i find that it's just more about how making choices is something inevitable.

Random thoughts

2009-04-24T11:05:00.000-07:00

There are so many thoughts running through my mind at the moment. I would love to be able to speak to someone about them, yet i think for now, it'll just come out in a jumble of words.

Penatlah today. There were ups and downs. Today's assessment was the best i've had so far for this block. Not because of the results,but i think i really tried to prepare for it as much as i could. Granted, i need to spend more time on the materials to actually really score but you know what, i have more important things to concentrate on at the same time.

I think i'll be saying goodbye to a friend soon. Everything's for the best kan?

I found the Quran that i misplaced..happy :)

My parents are coming back on Sunday..can't wait. I miss them.

In every situation, there's always some good that can be done. Cume nak buat tu susah sket lah. I'm trying.

Our group's reflection today was the most silent and awkward one yet.Things are hanging by the edge i think.

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can;and the wisdom to know the difference."

So Cute

2009-04-23T12:44:00.001-07:00

2009-04-21T08:57:00.001-07:00

A man once came to the Messenger of Allah(pbuh) and complained that he feels hardness in his heart. The Messenger of Allah said, ” Would you like that your heart becomes soft and that you acquire what you need? Be merciful with the orphan, pat his head and feed him from what you eat. This will soften your heart, and enable you to get what you need.”

2009-04-17T23:40:00.000-07:00

I'll be going back to my sister's place in an hour or so. Tak sabar... can't wait to see redza again :) he helps me destress...hehe

The whole day today since morning has been about clearing my mind. I cleaned the apartment, i read my favourite verses, i made lists, called an old friend,played around with the keyboard and played with the cat who seems to have made our garden his permanent home.

And now i'm all sunshine and blue clouds. :)

2009-04-17T09:32:00.000-07:00

There is always a sense of frustration that boils up in you when the end result you get from something is not on par with what you expected. I went through two such experiences this past two weeks. Dealing with one of them was especially hard.

Yet i experienced a deep sense of happiness two days ago when things took a turn for the better. And this happy feeling and thankfulness would have been lacking i guess if if i didn't have to go through all that keserabutan at first.

I've grown up a bit more i guess. The bigger picture is clearer now, insyaAllah.

'And if We give man a taste of Mercy from Us, and then withdraw it from him, verily! He is despairing, ungrateful. But if We let him taste good (favour) after evil (poverty and harm) has touched him, he is sure to say: "Ills have departed from me." Surely, he is exultant, and boastful (ungrateful to Allah). Except those who show patience and do righteous good deeds, those: theirs will be forgiveness and a great reward (Paradise).'

[Surah Hud verse 9-11]

Charitable Acts

2009-04-17T09:28:00.000-07:00

Abu Hurairah, radiyallahu 'anhu, reported that the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, said :

"On every person's joints or small bones (i.e. fingers and toes), there is sadaqah (charity) every day the sun rises. Doing justice between two people is sadaqah; assisting a man to mount his animal, or lifting up his belongings onto it is sadaqah; a good word is sadaqah; every step you take towards prayer is sadaqah; and removing harmful things from pathways is sadaqah."

[Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

2009-04-11T20:30:00.000-07:00

A short update for my buddies who've been complaining that i've abandoned them. Sorry guys!

After what was a much needed holiday, i'm back here in Cyber and again i'm in a period of minimum sleep, late nights, and endless meetings. At the end of the day, i guess i wouldn't have it any other way and this IS the path i chose but sometimes i can't help thinking what it'd be like to be one of those people that go to class and when it ends, go back to their apartments.

Of course, whenever i'm feeling bagged down by everything, it doesn't take much to turn my mood around. Reality hits me hard most times, and i see that i have it much better than a lot of people. And as always, God gives you a lot to be thankful about.:)

Musculoskeletal block has started. I actually find it fun but i wish i was given more time to get on with the whole flow of things. Sigh...it's Monday and i think i've already forgotten what the extensor muscles of the forearm are.

Having my parents come over today was a big boost. Seeing my parents being so excited going through my Netter's atlas and trying to make me see the interestingness of it all gave me some fuel to go through the next 4 weeks at least.

p.s: my mind is full of numerous things. would love to write it all down but i don't knwo where to start.

2009-04-04T00:29:00.000-07:00

Abu ‘Abdullah Jabir bin ‘Abdullah al-Ansari, radiyallahu anhuma, reported that a man questioned the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam, saying:

"Do you see, if I pray the prescribed (prayers), fast during Ramadhan, treat the lawful as permissible and treat the forbidden as prohibited, but do nothing more than that, shall I enter Paradise?” He (the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam) answered: “Yes.”

[Muslim],

Being a good muslim is easy, it is us who choose to make it difficult.

2009-03-08T11:10:00.000-07:00

Abu Hurairah, radiyallahu 'anhu, reported that a man said to the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam:

"Advise me! "The Prophet said, "Do not become angry and furious." The man asked (the same) again and again, and the Prophet said in each case, "Do not become angry and furious."
[Al-Bukhari; Vol. 8 No. 137]

The last two weeks or so, i've gotten into the habit of waking up and reaching for the Hadith Bukhari lying in a pile of books next to me. I've found that it never fails to give me some sort of motivation to start off the day in a good mood, especially when I have to wake up for a 2 hour lecture after having slept for only a few hours.I usually just pick a random page.

Today, i opened the page to the hadith above. How apt.

Trying to control my anger has been the hardest thing to do this week.

Love : Reality or Fantasy

2009-02-28T10:28:00.000-08:00

2009-02-14T21:39:00.000-08:00

Volume 4, Book 52, Number 41:

Narrated Abdullah bin Masud:

I asked Allah's Apostle, "O Allah's Apostle! What is the best deed?" He replied, "To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times." I asked, "What is next in goodness?" He replied, "To be good and dutiful to your parents." I further asked, what is next in goodness?" He replied, "To participate in Jihad in Allah's Cause." I did not ask Allah's Apostle anymore and if I had asked him more, he would have told me more.

2009-02-08T22:46:00.000-08:00

Narrated 'Abdullah bin Mas'ud:

The Prophet said, "Do not wish to be like anyone except in two cases. (The first is) A person, whom Allah has given wealth and he spends it righteously; (the second is) the one whom Allah has given wisdom (the Holy Qur'an) and he acts according to it and teaches it to others."

2009-02-07T10:33:00.000-08:00

The believers, in their love, mercy, and kindness to one another are like a body: if any part of it is ill, the whole body shares its sleeplessness and fever.

Narrated in Saheeh Muslim, 2586, and Saheeh Al-Bukhari, 6011.

REST

2009-01-24T03:06:00.000-08:00

I finally have the time to actually write something. Back in JB now, for a week's break - Yeay! can be with Red! he's so big and cute...totaly adorable.

Okay..back to recapping what's been happening over the last month or so. Honestly,with all the things i've been doing over the last few weeks i feel i've grown so much internally as a person. My eyes and mind have been opened so many times to new things and new issues. I have loads to say and it's at times like these i wish Yana and Atem were here so we could have our long long hangouts.

Whether it's being involved in the Peduli Palestin campaign,managing the tutor programme, dealing with my Student Council duties or just the psychotic everyday ongoings of my friends, i feel blessed that i have the chance to do something meaningful in so many different avenues. Granted, i'm left with not much sleep most of the time and certain periods of crankiness but the satisfaction you get is priceless.

It overwhelms me sometimes the amount of knowledge there is out there and the amount of things i want to know and how time seems to be always running out. It reminds me of the verse in the Quran that says something along the likes of 'If you use all the water in the ocean as ink, you would still not be able to completely write down all the knowledge in the world'. At the moment, i have 5 books in my room, all about different matters ranging from religion to science. Sigh. Sometimes i wish i wasn't a medical student. Then i'd maybe have the time to actually sit down and read them properly. I don't even have the time to read fiction now, it has truly become a luxury.

But i'm not complaining. If my life wasn't this busy, I'd be bored and that'd be even worse.

Truly, i love how everything is right now. For a long time now, I've felt that a lot of things in my life have fallen in the right place. I have God to thank for that of course. I love the people around me, my friends and i love the changes I've seen in me.

Even the thing that i dislike the most in my life right now - having to study microbiology doesn't really stress me out that much. It's true the classes are boring and in reality i couldn't be bothered with half the things we're learning, and yes, i was at first disappointed with my assessment marks, but I've learned to take all these things in stride now. I take to heart now what Prof. Latif said - studying, memorizing, weekly assesments, things like these are just like bread and butterin a medical student's life. It's the other things you do at the same time like volunteer work, helping your peers, things that shape you to become a decent a huan being - those are the ones that really matter.

So i've become less of an academic centred person and i'm moving towards a more holistic, balanced one hopefully. I've been trying to do so for a while and i think i'm getting better at it. Alhamdullilah.

PURPLE CARNIVAL 2009

2009-01-18T02:32:00.000-08:00

The Humiliation of America

2009-01-15T10:02:00.000-08:00

The White House Moron Stumbles to the Finish

The Humiliation of America

By PAUL CRAIG ROBERTS

"Early Friday morning the secretary of state was considering bringing the cease-fire resolution to a UNSC vote and we didn't want her to vote for it," Olmert said. "I said 'get President Bush on the phone.' They tried and told me he was in the middle of a lecture in Philadelphia. I said 'I'm not interested, I need to speak to him now.' He got down from the podium, went out and took the phone call."

"Let me see if I understand this," wrote a friend in response to news reports that Israeli Prime Minister Olmert ordered President Bush from the podium where he was giving a speech to receive Israel's instructions about how the United States had to vote on the UN resolution. "On September 11th, President Bush is interrupted while reading a story to school children and told the World Trade Center had been hit--and he went on reading. Now, Olmert calls about a UN resolution when Bush is giving a speech and Bush leaves the stage to take the call. There exists no greater example of a master-servant relationship."

Olmert gloated as he told Israelis how he had shamed US Secretary of State Condi Rice by preventing the American Secretary of State from supporting a resolution that she had helped to craft. Olmert proudly related how he had interrupted President Bush's speech in order to give Bush his marching orders on the UN vote.

Israeli politicians have been bragging for decades about the control they exercise over the US government. In his final press conference, President Bush, deluded to the very end, said that the whole world respects America. In fact, when the world looks at America, what it sees is an Israeli colony.

Responding to mounting reports from the Red Cross and human rights organizations of Israel's massive war crimes in Gaza, the United Nations Human Rights Council voted 33-1 on January 12 to condemn Israel for grave offenses against human rights.

On January 13, the London Times reported that Israelis have gathered on a hillside overlooking Gaza to enjoy the slaughter of Palestinians in what the Times calls "the ultimate spectator sport."

It is American supplied F-16 fighter jets, helicopter gunships, missiles, and bombs that are destroying the civilian infrastructure of Gaza and murdering the Palestinians who have been packed into the tiny strip of land. What is happening to the Palestinians herded into the Gaza Ghetto is happening because of American money and weapons. It is just as much an attack by the United States as an attack by Israel. The US government is complicit in the war crimes.

Yet in his farewell press conference on January 12, Bush said that the world respects America for its compassion.

The compassion of bombing a UN school for girls?

The compassion of herding 100 Palestinians into one house and then shelling it?

The compassion of bombing hospitals and mosques?

The compassion of depriving 1.5 million Palestinians of food, medicine, and energy?

The compassion of violently overthrowing the democratically elected Hamas government?

The compassion of blowing up the infrastructure of one of the poorest and most deprived people on earth?

The compassion of abstaining from a Security Council vote condemning these actions?

And this is a repeat of what the Israelis and Americans did to Lebanon in 2006, what the Americans did to Iraqis for six years and are continuing to do to Afghans after seven years. And still hope to do to the Iranians and Syrians.

In 2002 I designated George W. Bush "the White House Moron." If there ever was any doubt about this designation, Bush's final press conference dispelled it.

Bush talked about connecting the dots, but Bush has failed to connect any dots for eight solid years. "Our" president was a puppet for a cabal led by Dick Cheney and a handful of Jewish neoconservatives, who took control of the Pentagon, the State Department, the National Security Council, the CIA, and "Homeland Security." From these power positions, the neocon cabal used lies and deception to invade Afghanistan and Iraq, pointless wars that have cost Americans $3 trillion, while millions of Americans lose their jobs, their pensions, and their access to health care.

"These obviously very difficult economic times," Bush said in his press conference, "started before my presidency."

Bush has plenty of liberal company in failing to connect a $3 trillion dollar war with hard times. The Center on Budget and Policy Priorities blames Bush's tax cut, not the wars, for "the fiscal deterioration."

Bush told the White House Press Corps, a useless collection of non-journalists, that the two mistakes of his invasion of Iraq were: (1) Putting up the "mission accomplished" banner on the aircraft carrier, which, he said, "sent the wrong message," and (2) the absence of the alleged weapons of mass destruction that he used to justify the invasion.

Although Bush now admits that there were not any such weapons in Iraq, Bush said that the invasion was still the right thing to do.

The deaths of 1.25 million Iraqis, the displacement of 4 million Iraqis, and the destruction of a country's infrastructure and economy are merely the collateral damage associated with "bringing freedom and democracy" to the Middle East.

Unless George W. Bush is the best actor in human history, he truly believes what he told the White House Press Corps.

What Bush did not explain is how America is respected when its people put a moron in charge for eight years.

Paul Craig Roberts was Assistant Secretary of the Treasury in the Reagan administration.

http://www.counterpunch.org/roberts01142009.html

taken from chedet.cc

ARE WE NOT HUMAN?

2009-01-13T08:47:00.000-08:00

Are We Not Human?

By Mohammed Ali, an advocacy and media researcher for Oxfam who lives in Gaza City.

The air, the sea and the earth in Gaza City are now occupied by the Israeli military. They occupy Gazans' minds, nerves and ears too.

In a bid to stop my children twitching, jerking, trembling and waking at every sound of an attack during their few hours of sleep and their many waking hours, I put cotton wool in their ears - it has not worked.

We ran out of fuel for our generator, which meant that we were confined to a small room filled with eleven people, with little light for three days.

We have not had water either; our well can only pump water if it has electricity which most of the Gaza Strip has been denied since this nightmare started.

We are now 11, huddled together in my parents' dining room. My brother and I and our families moved there, thinking that the first floor may be the safest option.

There is a saying in Arabic which says "death in a group is a mercy". I guess if we die together maybe, just maybe, we will feel less of the pain than in doing so alone.

I have had 8 hours sleep since the beginning of this conflict; we can hear attacks almost every minute.

I think to myself, if one of us is injured or needs medical attention what will happen? Ambulances are finding it difficult to reach civilians, roads are blocked by rubble, Israeli forces in their path - you could bleed to death.

Even if they did get to us, maybe we would be bombed on our way to the hospital. If we did reach the hospital there might not be enough room to treat us - there is little medication or equipment or any electricity to fuel the life-saving equipment. We would not even be able to get out of Gaza for the life-saving treatment we needed.

Hospitals are now running on back-up generators making life even more difficult for the doctors who are trying to cope with the influx of the injured. If fuel runs out for the generators, those on life-saving equipment will perish.

I heard a woman calling into a radio station today - ambulance services could not reach her and I guess she thought the radio station might be able to do something. She was wailing down the phone "our home is on fire, my children are dying, help me". I do not know what happened to her and her children - I do not want to imagine.

I spend much of my time thinking that this could be the last hour of my existence.

As I try to fall asleep, I hear on the radio the numbers of people who have died rising by the hour. I wonder if tomorrow morning, I will be part of that body count, part of the next breaking news.

I will be just another number to all those watching the death and destruction in Gaza or maybe the fact that I work for Oxfam will mean that I will be a name and not just a number. I might be talked about for a minute and moments later forgotten, like all those other people who have had their lives taken away from them.

I am not afraid of dying - I know that one day we all must die. But not like this, not sitting idly in my home with my children in my arms waiting for our lives to be taken away. I am disgusted by this injustice.

What is the international community waiting for - to see even more dismembered people and families erased before they act? Time is ticking by and the numbers of dead and injured are increasing. What are they waiting for?

What is happening is against humanity, are we not human?

Extracted from Gaza Diary: Are We Not Human? from AlJazeera.net

BusyBee

2009-01-04T00:50:00.000-08:00

My life has been so busy lately. What with SC, PPIM, the tutoring programme, classes and other various activities,most of the time i've got my hands full. It's been hard to really relax without something reminder sneaking through my thoughts about something i have to do. Only yesterday, i was wastching this movie that i had been waiting quite a while to watch- it was a sad meloncholic type of Japanese Anime and i was in the perfect mood to watch. Unfortunately, the viewing experience was greatly disturbed- i got 3 phone calls throughout the first 45 minutes and by that time there was no way i could be watching it peacefully.

But i'm not complaining actually. Being this busy actually makes me feel contented. haha. Does that sound weird? But it does really. It feels like i'm actually doing something and that there is meaning to me days. I'm constantly in Monica mode nowadays. I have to be if i don't want to get so cluttered. Used to be i could never follow the timetables or schedules i made, but i'm getting better at it. The satisfaction of ticking off something you have done on your list it immensely satisfying.

On another note, the tutor programme finally officially started next week. I'm really really happy it's actually being done. We proposed the tutor projects as one of the activities under our Academic Bureau in PPIM and ever since ten i've been eager to start it. Alhamdullilah, things are going smoothly so far. At first i was a bit worried that it wasn't going to get much sambutan- tutee wise. But it turned out that loads of students wanted to join. Insya-Allah as time goes by, this programme will help make a difference.

Happy New Year!

2008-12-31T22:28:00.001-08:00

Highlights of 2008
1. The birth of Muhammad Redza
2. Entering 1st year medical school
3. Joining usrah
4. LTDN9

It's crazy when i think how fast 2008 went by. Personally for me, it's been a year of changes. I think i've become a better,more enlightened, calm person than before. hehe. insya-Allah, 2009 will be a time for more improvements.

I miss Redza. He's so cute!! It's amazing how much time i can spend just holding him. CNY hols..pls come fast.

I'm sure everyone's aware of the Gaza-Israeli happenings at the moment. After the incident on the 27th, i made one new year's resolution. To educate myself more about the Palestinian-Israeli conflict. I mean, i know bits and pieces but if i'm to talk to people and to convince of the injustice of it all, i think i need to know the whole story.

LTDN9

2008-12-22T07:11:00.000-08:00

I spent the last weekend in Port Dickson for the Le Tour de Negeri Sembilan Sunathon & Med.Checkup. It was one of the best experiences i've had so far since i started first year. It was my 2nd sunathon activity, but my first major one. Also the first time i would be using the smartklamp method as opposed to the suturing i did in Kajang.

I 'sunated' 2 kids!!! Honestly didn't think i could do it...at the start of the programmes i didn't think i'd have the confidence to but Alhamdullilah i managed to spur up some courage. Haha. One of the kids that was assigned to our table took 2 whole hours to do! I didn't realise it was that long until i was told that 59 kids had been sunated while we were working on this rare case. By the time the 2 hours ended,my shoulders were aching like crazy from the prolonged bending down while holding the clamps.

I loved how everyone worked together. How people were always willing to help you. How the seniors were never stingy when it came to sharing knowledge. How the doctors patiently explained the procedures to you over and over again. How the parents trusted us. How things like these make you feel a teeny step closer to being a doctor.

Of course, not everything was about work. CUCMSians are all about working hard but we also have fun. After our sunathon ended we spent our day at the beach. Maryam, Matus and I strolled along the beach, wetting our legs, splashing the water around, blowing bubbles in the air, munching on fresh fruits, kuih piring and ramly burgers after a hard day's work. At night, all of us sat in the darkness of the night on mats, enoying our barbequed food while being serenaded by the peaceful sound of the waves and the voices of Prof. Latif and the guitar club.

I loved Prof.Latif's speech which was as meaningful as all his other ones. He epitomized why all these CUCMS activities i joined felt so meaningful - because we always try to maximize everything around us and always rememberan relate everything to Allah and to do as much good as possible.

Welcome Baby Boy!

2008-12-09T12:16:00.000-08:00

My sis gave birth to an awesomely cute baby boy at about 2.30 am on the 10th of Dec. Alhamdullilah. I'm so happy. Woohoo!

New Blog, New Lifestyle

2008-12-02T07:59:00.000-08:00

Salam to all.
Haven't been blogging for more than a month. A lot of things have happened but i've been so busy and most of the time i've already planned transcripts of what i want to write, but by the time i get back i'm just thinking about sleep.

Anyway, good news! I survived four weeks of ever-dreadful biochemistry. haha. I know it's terrible to say you dislike something but seriously, after we finished our finals for biochem, i felt like this huge burden had just been lifted of me. I think if i had to take small doses of it , it wouldn't have been so bad, but this was one subject where i wished it wasn't done in a block system. But it wasn't all bad- i did like the last week where they talked about protein synthesis and genetics.

Academics weren't so fun the last four weeks but a lot of other happy things went on in my life. We started our weekly usrah meetings. This is my first time joining usrah so it was a new ex perience for me. It's a refreshing, different, fun and thereapuetic experience. really. I like when we discuss things that are actually happening around us and every week we remind ourselves about simple things we may forget. :)

We're studying pathology now. I don't think it's too early to say that i love this block. Or maybe it's just that i'm so happy to leave biochem that anything seems better. But seriously, pathology is about when things go wrong in our cell and i'm just constantly amazed at how intelligent our body is and how logical things are. It's really a testament of God's greatness.

Also, i've changed my routine around a bit. I don't stay at the main camp as long now. I'm trying to be more healthy without affecting my studying time. So far it's worked out fine. I truly feel now how if you have a purpose in life everything become's more meaningful and at the end of most days, i feel content. Alhamdullilah.

2008-10-28T04:20:00.000-07:00

Last week of physiology. Eventhough it's been tiring as hell i'm going to miss it a lot. But it'll be nice to move on to a more relaxing block hopefully. Next block is bichemistry- not sure how i feel about it...i think i'm not going to like it that much.

This weeks marks a new beginning for our group. Due to certain incidents last week our group i think had one of the worst weeks ever...never in my life have i experienced something like last week. Alhamdulillah, our problem is solved and i'm hoping we can go back to our normal cycle.

Tata

2008-10-20T03:17:00.000-07:00

Alhamdullilah, i got an A for my 2nd assessment. I think the change in studying method helped things a lot. 2 more weeks of physio to go. With the amount of work we've been doing( i feel like our brain cells are consantly prodded in his class) it feels like its been ages.

hmm...tired.

Physiology

2008-10-10T18:59:00.000-07:00

I got a 77.6 for my first physiology assessment. Am i disappointment in myself? Let's be honest here. Yes.

Prof said i was overanalysing some of the questions.Ye ke? But then again that's what Afiq said the day before. So,maybe it's true. I think this was one test i shouldn't have taken to many chances with and just should have left some questions empty(my assessments are in t/f manner so a false answer= minus 0.5 and not answering=no marks added or deducted)

Haix. Obviously, i'm going to dwell on my marks for a while. BUT, i know that i definitely tried my best and whatever God plans and gives me is what is best for me.

Seriously though, i can't believe i'm even a bit hung up over a B. Come on lah Nab, there's like a million and other things that are worse.

I have a bad history of feeling unneccessarily down because of results. I cringe remembering the time i cried over the 68% i got for Ad.maths in form 4 when i was lucky enough to be one of the few that passed.

OK! Time to move on. Besides, i'm always asking for challenges so here's one - improve for next week. Insya-Allah

Wish me luck!

End of Ramadhan

2008-09-28T11:13:00.000-07:00

The end of Ramadhan is coming very soon and we'll be busy Rayaing. For the first time ever, i'm actually feeling sad. Honestly before this, when people used to tell me they wished Ramadhan wouldn't end, i could understand what they meant but my feelings never mirrored theirs. But this year, Ramadhan has been exceptionally good and rewarding for me. Alhamdullilah.

On another note about Ramadhan, i was happy that Prof. Hatta decided to talk a bit about terawikh during Grand Reflection. He talked about how the Prophet P.B.U.H demanded that we pray terawih but that it wasn't a must to pray it secara berjemaah. Terawih itself was supposed to be done in a relaxing manner and following your own speed. Anyway, why was i so happy he said that? Well, during early Ramdhan i prayed terawih in the college. But when it came to the last ten nights i preferred to pray at home cause i'd pray terawih after 12am and break into a few sessions where i'd do half and then sleep and then wake up just before sahur to continue.

When i told some of my friends who asked why i stopped coming to college for terawih about this, some of them questioned my ways. Now i know most of them meant well, but i so hate people who assume you're not doing something or you're doing it wrong just because they can't see you doing it or because you don't do it with them. Like if i don't join the Qiyamullail doesn't mean that while you guys are praying and all that at 4am i'm having a party or dozing off.

Okay, i've gone a bit off tangent. Anyways, I hope you guys have had a Ramadhan as full filing as mine and just in case i don't post anything in the next few days - Eid Mubarak!

Home Sweet Home

2008-09-27T06:55:00.000-07:00

I'm back home in JB for raya! yeay! Got back yesterday around 9pm.

This week was my last week of Behavioral Sciences and so we had our finals yesterday. It was okay. The objectives were tiring to do actually what with 40 questions and each question having 5 sub-ques. The subjectives were quite direct and there was a question asking us to create our own human development theory based on all the theories we've learnt so far(Freud,Piaget,Kohlberg,Erikson). That ques let us use our creativity a bit.

After 3 weeks of BS, i'm quite happy it's over. Learning about psychology is fun sometimes but i find it to be something i like reading about for leisure. I'm not so interested about going to classes for it. Of course some of the topics we covered were fun but there were quite a few that were draggy. Doing the study group thing for this block was a lot of help cause having to learn all the topics by myself would have been boring. Which reminds me- Thanks Nebbe, Ezad, Amir, Afiq and Loi!

Talking about study groups, i realise that it's true what our lecturers told us about how we'd start using terminolgies we'd used in our classes in our daily conversations. Because it's Ramadhan, my study group mates and I would usually break fast together or go for sahur after burning the night lamp. One particular night sticks to mind. We had just finished reviewing the whole syllabus for BS and were at this tomyam restaurant in Dengkil and it was funny how we somehow managed to relate everything we were talking abt to BS, ranging from classical conditioning to exhibitionism and voyeurism to how were in sync with Erikson's Psychosocial Theory. We even got into a whole discussion about how prejudiced we were and if we were ever altruistic. I guess Prof.Hatta was right when he said that BS would make us look at things around us in a different light.

2008-09-13T09:28:00.000-07:00

This week we started a new block, Behaviorial Sciences. Learning about the human mind, psychology and all that sounded very interesting to me as even before this i've read quite a few books on the topic. So, you could say i had high hopes when i started this block. But after one week...honestly i think i'm not quite enjoying it as much as i thought i would. I'm not going to air my dissatisfactions here cause i think that maybe there shoud be more initiative on my part to get the class to be more fun so i'll keep my opinions for the end of the block. Who knows? Maybe i'll be singing a different tune then

Ever since the fasting month started, i've been coming back on weekends so i've had some time to watch some telly. I so enjoy watching Oprah's Big Give ...somehow I always shed some tears watching this show. It's awesome watching this whole group of people acting so selflessly and then seeing the change they make in other people's lives. Also, watching 8tv has been somewhat kind of a walk down memory lane...they air shows like Beverly Hills and Boy Meets World, which i was so into when i was in primary school.

Fasting month has been good so far. I break-fast at college and usually do my terawih there. It feels great and you feel like one whole huge family. Because most days are quite busy, the weeks go by quite fast and the time for breaking fast seems to come by fast enough.

Ramadhan

2008-09-01T05:47:00.000-07:00

It feels as if Ramadhan has arrived incerdibly fast this year, possibly due to the fact that life has been so busy lately. Ramadhan has always somewhat been a measuring tape for how much ive grown spiritually. Alhamdullilah,i feel that as years go by the Ramadhan's i've had have become more special and meaningful. Also, CUCMS is providing what i think is a good Ramadhan environment what with the Solat jemaah, and terawih prayers ,etc so hopefully all of us can properly experience the Ramadhan spirit.

So to all Muslims out there, happy Ramadhan!

New Beginning

2008-08-31T03:19:00.000-07:00

Thanks a bunch to all my family members + friends who wished me yesterday. I was especially touched that some of my ex-schoolmates, even those from primary school remembered!

I'm at my sis's house in Damansara since i have no classes tomorrow either. I'm not being as productive as i should be....so so lazy to do my SCL....and the bed and tv are constantly calling me.

Okay, my buds have been asking me to write about my classmates...the new people i've met and all that so here goes..

There are 122 people in my class so our hall is really full. I don't think i've really really met all my classmates yet...i still can't remember all of their names but so far, those that i've met are nice. But it is less than a month and experience tells me that you can know a person for a year and still not really know them so i'm keeping all judgements and opinions about the people around me to myself and i'm not going to spill it all over this blog.haha. Still, i have met some funny and weird people and everyday i talk to someone different and find out more new things so that's the cool part.

2008-08-22T02:22:00.000-07:00

I'm been wanting to update for ages but seriously there hasn't been any freaking time. Anyway, it's been about three weeks since i started first year and to describe my experiences i just have one word - FUN. Like for real. Obviously, i've never been busier, soemtimes i spend my time at the main campus at late hours, i sleep an average 4 to 5 hours a day but it's just a different feeling when you know you're learning something that is bringing you closer to your dream... Haha..corny right?

It'd be impossible to write about everything but i'll mention the important stuff. Firstly:

ORIENTATION WEEK
Orientation week was a mixture of fun and boredom. The talks were boring, probably cause i heard most of them when i joined foundation but the stuff like the amazing race was cool. I love treasure hunt stuff. Throughout the whole orientation session we were mixed around into various groups so everyday you meet new people. As usual, most people noticed quite fast that i looked like my sister and some of the new batch even called me 'Kak Faran' at times, confusing me with the real deal ...do we really look that alike?

Owh, and people think im older than 19....during registration time i got called kakak by two guys..like wth

MY APARTMENT and HOUSEMATES
I got an apartment that does not require me to climb up stair!!! like woohoo giler....i hated 2x having to move out from the highest level apartment last year. I came a bit late so i got the master bedroom but i got the bed under the fan. And i got Maryam as a roommate which is like so cool cause we spend most of our tiem together anyways. My other roommate is nice too. So far, all my housemates are okay. I'm closer to my roommates and Ama- a 21 year old gal who lives in the single room. She's done a year of dentistry so she also acts as my reference book.haha. She's psycho.

LECTURES
At the moment im going through my anatomy block so my lecturer is Prof. Nasa. He is like the bomb. He makes all this jokes in class, he brings slide shows to motivate us which is so cool and he's damn smart and a walking dictionary of anatomy. His classes are never boring and i can stay awake for a duration of 4 hours. I think all of us totally adore him even if his jokes are sometimes bordering on lame...but sooo comel.haha.

So far we've had 3 weekly test... and yea! Alhamdullilah ive gotten A's for all of them. Have my finals next week... and there's an OSPE which i think i'll suck at but we'll see how it goes.
I'll try to update more tomorrow...bear with all these outdated news for the time being.haha

2008-08-04T04:10:00.000-07:00

Last post before i head back to cyber. I actually planed on writing a longer post but i had the urge to write earlier and i ended up writing it in my diary so i don't feel like writing the whole thing again.

In short, my last 3 months at home have been awesome. I spent time with my parents, saw my brother, met up with my friends, read tonnes of books, watched loads of japanese drama, and other shows, and got back to piano again among other things.

I'm going to miss being at home. Next time i come back will probably be during raya.

Can't believe i'm actually starting medicine. Scary,exciting,unbelievable all rolled into one.

Wish me luck!

2008-08-01T21:49:00.000-07:00

This week i ad my last piano class. Was quite sad to be leaving the class actually. i really really like my teacher and i've really enjoyed learning with her. She was always so patient (even when at times it seemed like i had to left hands) and she was fun. I really really hope when i come back after 1st year hands i can study with her again. that would be great.

Anyway, when i look back at my two and a half months of playing piano again and my classes a lot of things come to mind. You know, going back to piano even after 6 years of not touching it wasn't really so hard and getting the notes right when i played or acquiring the right speed was something i could handle. But, i have to say i seriously am lacking of the right 'mood' when i play the pieces. haha. Hmm..how do i explain this..Well, i guess when i play it looks like i'm not really feeling anything and i think that expression part is the hardest thing to overcome. For me, it's like breaking through a barrier cause i can be very self-conscious at times.

For example, i recently played this piece Ballade Pour Adeline which is a romantic song. And i think i played it ok enough but it's definitely not romantic...probably cause i didnt really what emotions were being conveyed at different parts of the piece. So during the last few classes my teacher goes through some intepretations of classical pieces with me. Turns out the Ballade Pour Adeline song was loosely i think about a girl in love and there's one part where you're suppose to play real fast as it reflected her feeling confused and anxious. And when she played it for me like how it was supposed to be, i actually could see what she means.

And after going through other examples, i guess if you have a better understanding of what the composer is actually trying to convey through the use of sound it helps you appreciate it more. There's this Beethoven piece, Symphony no.5 which i think is one of the most recognizable piece of music out there which i never really liked cause i felt it was a bit too perky for me. Then once, a friend of mine talked me through the whole 4 movements and he talked about how it was suppose to be an expressive journey starting from the conflict and moving into the glimmers of hope. Well, i never viewed it like that, but once i did and then i listened to it..i didn't find it so bad anymore.

I'm not saying that you need a whole load of classical history knowledge to be able to appreciate classical music but in some cases it helps.

Nodame Cantabille

2008-07-30T22:52:00.000-07:00

Watching Nodame Cantabille now. Probably will be the last show i watch before going back next week. It centres around a music academy and thats what makes this show so good. For me,that is. Of course, the storyline and cast are great and it has the right amount of drama and comedy involved but it's the music used in the show that makes it stand out.

I love classical music. It helps me when im stressed out, it's the only type of music i can listen to when im studying and it acts as a great lullaby when i need to sleep. Being centered around a music academy, this show uses classical music as it's soundtrack. And they choose the most awesome pieces. For different scenes, different pieces are inserted and what's amazing is that they always fit the mood and. It actually even gets you in the mood. Like theres one scene where they use Mozart's The Bumblebee and you just feel yourself getting drawn into it.

I get sidetracked sometimes watching it. I'll be listening to what music they choose and i'll forget to actually see what's going on. haha.

Silent Boy II

2008-07-30T22:42:00.000-07:00

Silent Boy turned out to be quite sinister and dark. The psychologist gets him to talk surprisingly fast, and reading about that particular process was touching and you felt so kesian for the boy cause he really was trying so hard. But then, it's like by giving him back his voice she kinds of at the same time unleashes this evil, creepy boy. At the early part of the book, Kevin hides himself under tables, he builds wall around himself, literally using chairs and other stuff. At that time you kind of feel like he's really very innocent even though he's actually 15, a young man. But when he starts talking again and starts getting out from under the table and all that you see that he is really cunning and somewhat scary.

The child psychologist while at first ecstatic about getting him to talk becomes uneasy when she listen to what he talks about most of the time - killing his abusive stepfather. He talks about it almost candidly and draws surprisingly accurate gruesome pictures of him lying on roadsides with his stomach slashed open, his guts everywhere and vermin crawling all over him. Kevin even cunningly transforms himself into a nice boy knowing that a fast recovery would help him get out of the institution.

I haven't finished the book yet. So far, i'm at the part where the psychologist is back to treating Kevin after he left the institution for about 4 months. I'm quite curious as to how this story is going to end. The fact that it's a true story means that there may not necessarily be a happy ending.

Nobuta Wo Produce

2008-07-29T11:24:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching Nobuta Wo Produce, this Japanese drama my brother recommended to me a few years ago. I never got around to watching it before this mainly because i couldn't find it in the stores. Took me a while to realise that they marketed it here using it's English title. Like there's no inkling at all that it's called Nobuta on the dvd cover which is why the store workers couldn't help me. Anyway, this has got to be by far one of the best dramas i watch especially when it comes to dramas dealing with high-school students.

It revolves around 3 main character, 2 guys and a girl. There's Shuji, the most popular guy in school who thinks life is a game, and whose actions portray him as a totally different person than he actually is, which is someone who is afraid of loneliness and the thought of people not liking him. There's Akira, a weird eccentric guy who hangs around Shuji, even if Shuji finds him annoying. The guy who acts as Akira totally makes the show with his weird mannerisms and hand gestures. Then there's Nobuta, a girl scarred from childhood when she is rejected by her stepfather and goes through life being bullied which makes her into this person who doesn't find the it worth living. They make her character have this kind of eerie presence, she's really pale, she talks so little and it's only at the end of the show when she actually smiles...that also in a somewhat weird way.

Basically this story is about Shuji and Akira deciding to bridge forces to make Nobuta into the most popular girl in school. For Shuji, it's just another form of a game for him and weird Akira finds itto be an equally amusing activity. Of course, it's no easy feat and they create all this funny ways of trying to make her popular. At the same time the friendship between the three become stronger and you start seeing that it's not just Nobuta who's going through a makeover but the other two chracters also start unveiling to become who they actually are.

The main theme in this show is friendship, which is why it is so attractive to me. And the way the characters act and how the story moves on is realistic enough that you can see how it could happen in real life. The theme of love (in the sense of between male and female) takes a minor role here. I loved that. Most dramas take the route of creating a love triangle and making that it the main story which i find so overdone and irritating. Most of the times they make it very emotional and the friendship goes through all these unnecessary strains.

In this drama, there is a love triangle but it hardly becomes a main story.Akira falls for Nobuta and realises he loves her. While at first he makes a point to win her heart, he gives up because he realises that he wouldn't be able to make her happy. That part in the drama was particularly touching for me. When Akira tells Shuji his reason, Shuji says that the only important thing should be love and that that would be enough. Akira then replies saying that love was important but to be happy there were other things you also needed. I loved that response, it's exactly what i think. Most dramas just use love as the pretense of getting together and the character go around thinking and exclaiming that just by truly loving that person they were meant to be together.

Nobuta also shows slight feelings for Shuji but never acts on it probably because she values his friendship more and realises that the three of the remaining as friends is the best way to go. Their friendship goes through many adversities through out the show and i like how when they're faced with problems regarding each other they dont jump to conclusions and instead decide to actually listen to explanations and believe in each other. When a vindictive girl gives Akira a picture of Nobuta hugging Shuji while she was comforting him, instead of going all psycho and feeling betrayed he chooses to ignore the picture(which was totally the right to do as the hugging scene wasn't like how it looked) . So the issue of the picture was eliminated and it's only at the end of the show that Shuji finds out that Akira had the picture and realises even more of how he really is a great friends.

The ending is bittersweet,very satisfying. I didnt fast forward once watching this drama. It was too dramatic, so there wasn't any sad too depressingg moments, the cast is great,funny.The chemistry is fabulous. The soundtrack is nice to hear. It has just 10 episodes so it doesnt drag on. All in all, a great show.

Silent Boy

2008-07-28T00:16:00.000-07:00

I bought a new book today, Silent Boy by Torey Hayden. It's a true story. Torey Hayden is a child psychologist who works with children with special needs. So she writes about her own experiences and covers subjects like autism,sexual abuse and Tourette's syndrome. I read a chapter of Silent Boy while i was in Popular. It's about 15 year old Kevin who is seriously afraid of the world and has not spoken a word in 8 years. Can you imagine that? Not speaking a word in 8 years!!!

Kevin is a boy with elective mutism,which is an emotional distubance that occurs mainly in kids. The kid is capable of speaking but because of psychological reasons refuses to do so.The book is about but how she tries to help the boy even if it proves to be a tough challenge and she realizes that it won't be easy to break the walls he built around himself.

Books like these really interest me whether they are fiction or non-fiction. Both Marti Leimbach's Daniel Isn't Talking about a mother who has an autistic child and the famous Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon who's main character has Asperger's syndrome are favorite's of mine. Reading stories like these is both heartbreaking and fascinating at times.

It's lovely to read about parents who while find it hard to deal with these special children make huge efforts to understand their world. I totally salute them. The patience they have, their dedication is exemplary. At the same time it's sad when sometimes the strain and exhaustion they experience breaks up their lives. A show i watched about autism talked about how 50% or more couples with autistic children get divorced.

So, i can' wait to see how this book turns out. It doesn't say in the back whether she succeeds in getting him to speak or not but it'll be interesting to see what she does to try and help him.

Nikolai Gogol and IWGP

2008-07-26T15:03:00.000-07:00

I've decided to bring back Middlesex and Sophie's World when i start uni. I'm probably going to be real busy so i don't think theres are point in bringing too many. Chose Middlesex cause so many people have recommended in to me and i've read a few pages to know that it's definitely a good read and i'm taking Sophie's World cause i've read it a few times and it's something i can read when i'm too busy too start on a new book but still need some reading material.

I read a collection of short stories by Nikolai Gogol recently. I heard about it when i watched this movie 'The Namesake' where the main character was named Gogol. His two most popular short stories i think were ' The Overcoat' and ' The Nose'. Both are extremely good. I like how his subject matters are simple yet what he is trying to portray in his work usually covers extensive ground. The Nose is really comical i must say even if the story itself is like crazy.

Also finished the Ikebukuro West Gate Park(IWGP) series. It was really good. Much more edgier, seedier type of Japanese Drama. Acting was top-notch, the plot moved along quite fast, and the ending while it was a bit sentimental for me, it still seemed believable. Towards the end they even killed off one of the main characters and that's not something you usually do in dramas( except for those dramas where the main characters have some illness and find love before they die). I'd give it 8/10.

Watched Made Of Honour that day. It was ok. Nothing great but it wasn't terrible either. But it's no My Best Friend's Wedding for sure.

Gateway to Another World

2008-07-26T04:40:00.000-07:00

When i was about 13/14, all the shelves in my room were filled with books and i was running out of space. So it was at that time that i decided to pack up all my books into boxes to make way for new books. Also at that time i was kind of moving on to different kind of reading material and books by Roald Dahl, Caroline B. Cooney, Judy Blume and my whole Sweet Valley series made way for the likes of Kazuo Ishiguro, Jeffrey Archer, Sidney Sheldon and Jostein Gardner.

Anyway, a few days ago i was in my sister's room and i saw that my mum had arranged all those books i had boxed up on some shelves she had had built. I think they had been there for a while but i never noticed. I got so excited seeing all those books, i spent a good part of the evening going through all of them. It was like going through some memory vault. Each book reminded me of a different time of my childhood. Going through our Enid Blyton collection reminded me of all the crazy characters like Mr.Pink Whistle and the magical worlds that she created.

Seeing all the Sweet Valley books arranged in one big pile made me realise we probably bought the whole collection especially the Twins,Junior yr,Senior yr and High School series. I went through reading bits and pieces of some of them and i think they're still some of the best teenage series books i've read. They discussed loads of issues - racism, death, drug, cliques and all that. I think a lot of the books we have nowadays are not as good as they were.

I also loved how the book covers for books meant for children are so coulourful and so yummy if you get what i mean. Even now, when i see the young adults section i always have the urge to get some of them but have to restrain myself.haha.

Random Bits

2008-07-23T06:02:00.000-07:00

Feeling much better today. Had piano classes just now. Today's class lasted for 90 minutes as i had to replace an earlier class i missed. Because we had so much time, she gave me 3 pieces instead of the usual 2. And i finally got my first Richard Clayderman piece. I've tried a few but they're not very easy and i usually play halfway but this time i'm determined to nail it. haha

I've started reading P.G Wodehouse because with a headache and all a light read is the best choice. Also yesterday i read bits and pieces of Nick Hornby's A Long Way Down because i just got it back. Somehow, i can't resist reading his books over and over again. You can just open any page and you're bound to laugh. A long Way Down is one of my fav's mainly because of the character of misfits in it.

Watching a different J-drama this week - IWGP. It's more of a murder mystery drama and so far it's been interesting.

I'm on an overdose of Jason Mraz these days. I used to listen to him a lot and then i stopped cause probably i wasn't in the mood for his tunes but my sis introduced me to Lucky and i'm into him again.

Random

2008-07-21T13:32:00.000-07:00

Ive been sleeping for nearly the whole day, waking up just to pray and bathe. I would have slept longer but Petity woke me up by jumping around my bed reminding me that i had to feed her. My fever's coming and going and i've used so many tissues.

Watching Project Runway 2. So cool that i get to see an episode a day. If i could get the DVD set i definitely would. Season's 2 is one of my fav cause i like a lot of the contestants - Daniel, Nick, Chloe even Santino who provides drama.

Reading 'The Tent' by Margaret Atwood. It's a collection of short stories. Really good read. All the stories have a dark weird sense to it.

Sick

2008-07-20T11:38:00.000-07:00

Not feeling too well at the moment. My head feels like a ton of bricks. I'm lying on the bed now trying to decide the best amount of pillows i need under my head. hmm...i slalu suddenly2 demam. And always bad timing. Dahlah i have a driving class 2mrw. At this rate i'm never going to get my license. I'm contemplating going eventhough im feeling this way but the last time i did that cause some unwanted things to happen. enough said about that.

Faran followed Maya and Ravin back so i spent some time cleaning up the room just now. The whole 'cleaning is therapeutic' thing really works for me. Felt really relaxed after that. I finished Musashi so i'm still in the process of deciding what my next book will be. I have like about 2 weeks left before i start med and i want to cram as many reading time as possible. During foundation i barely read so i'm guessing the situation during 1st year med will be worse. Some titles that i'm looking at are Middlesex(John Euginides), Sam the Sudden (P.G Wodehouse) and Such A Long Journey( Rohintan Minstry).

I didn't think the poem i put up in the previouse posts would get people so emotional. I've had quite a few messages from my friends telling me how it touched them and how much it made them miss their parents. hmm..i guess being away in college and all you get swept up in whatever's going on but when you get reminded of what's there at home..you get a little homesick.

I don't think i'll be terribly homesick leaving home soon but i'll definitely miss being here. I love that i got to hang out with my parents so much,especially my mum. With my dad, i've talked more than i ever did, even actually having fun when we went out just the two of us for lunch. Maybe not being at home a lot last year made me appreciate them so much more. These past few months my general mood has been happy and contentment. Alhamdullilah.

I'm going to sleep now. Again. That's one thing fever does to you. I've been dozing off so many times today.

P.S : Happy Bday Nad!!! Love you loads.

Orange Days

2008-07-19T16:22:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching Orange Days..and i loved it!! I actually wrote a post all about it..but i didn't save it and it's lost. So, i'll just leave you with a picture of the main character - who is so adorable and his character in the show ( so baik, selfless) is to die for! The show left me smiling and satisfied.

Musashi

2008-07-19T15:56:00.000-07:00

Musashi is a great read and is often referred to as the 'Gone With The Wind' of Japan. For me, i preferred it much more if compared to the latter. It's a historical epic novel and while is a work of fiction, the main character Musashi Miyamoto himself did exist and most of the characters and events depicted in the book happened. The book is about his life as he goes about his ways learning to live the true way of the samurai. A few years ago my brother recommended this book to me. My bro doesn't read as much as my sisters and I do but when he does he really chooses his books wisely so it was only natural that i would pay heed to what he said and get the book. The book is 970 pages long and is written in small print so most people may be turned of from the start, but after the first few pages you'll just get sucked in the flow of the words. When it was first published they would publish it through a syndication with a magazine i think so there would be 1/2 chapters a week so each chapter has like a cliffhanger/coincidental happenings thing going on.

Still, what drew me to read it was the book's subject matter, it's depiction of Japanese History and culture and the samurai's way of life. Watching so many samurai related movies and anime has of course made me a fan of this genre. Reading or watching something related to them, you kind of always get this sense of loyalty, dignity and honour. The book does it wonderfully even adding a subdued but still captivating (for me, at least) story of love. And it even has some bouts of humour.

I read it a 2nd time this holidays because the first time i read it was during a busy period so i tried to finish it as fast as i can. This time around i took my own sweet time. I definitely rate it as one of my favourite books. It's different from the books written by modern Japanese authors like Kazuo Ishiguro or Haruki Murakami. Theirs have a more psychological literature thing going on but this one is written in the way most Japanese stories were written at that time.

The Sutra on the Great Love of Parents.

2008-07-17T09:29:00.000-07:00

The book i'm reading now Musashi while it's essentially about Miyamoto Musashi it also touches a lot on the spirituality and talks about the teachings of the Buddha. Anyway, in one of the chapters one of the characters was copying a Buddhist sutra and i found it to be very touching. It's really simple but really really meaningful. The book doesnt publish the whole thing and i haven't found the complete copy yet but here's a part of i

Thus I have heard
Once when the Buddha was on the Sacred Vulture Peak
In the City of Royal Palaces
Preaching to bodhisattvas and disciples
There gathered a multitude of monks and nuns and lay believers, both male and female,
All the people of the heavens,dragon gods and demons,
To hear the Sacred Law.
Around the jeweled throne they gathered
And gazed with unwavering eyes,
At the holy face

At this time the Buddha
Preached the Law as follows:
'All ye good men and good women,
Acknowledge your debt for your father's compassion,
Acknowledge your debt for your mother's mercy.
For the life of a human being in this world
Has karma as its basic course,
But parents as its immediate means of origin.'

' Without a father, the child is not born
Without a mother, the child is not nourished.
The spirit comes from the father's seed;
The body grows within the mother's womb.'

' Because of these relationships,
The concern of a mother for her child
Is without comparison in this world...'

'From the time when she receives the child in her womb,
During the passage of nine months ,
Going,coming,sitting,sleeping,
She is visited by suffering.
She ceases to have customary love for food or drink or clothing
And worries solely about a safe delivery.'

' The months are full,and the days sufficient.
At the time of birth, the winds of karma hasten it on,
Her bones are racked with pain.
The father,too trembles and is afraid.
Relatives and servants worry and are distressed.
When the child is born and dropped upon the grass,
The boundless joy of the father and the mother
Match that of a penurious woman
Who has found the omnipotent magic jewel.
When the child utters its first sounds,
The mother feels that she herself is born anew.
Her chest becomes the child's place of rest;
Her knees, its playground.
Her breasts, its source of food.
Her love,its very life.
Without its mother, the child cannot dress or undress.
Though the mother hungers,
She takes the food from her mouth and gives it to her child.
Without the mother,the child cannot be nourished...'

' The mother goes to the neighboring village to work.
She draws water, builds the fire,
Pounds the grain, makes the flour,
At night when she returns,
Before she reaches the house,
She hears the baby's crying
And is filled with love.
Her chest heaves, her heart cries out,
The milk flows forth, she cannot bear it.
She runs to the house.
The baby, seeing its mother approach from afar,
Works its brain, shakes its head,
And wails for her.
She bends her body,
Takes the child's two hand,
Places her lips upon its lips.
There is no greater love than this.
When the child is two,
He leaves the mother's breast.
But without his father, he would not know that fire can burn.
Without his mother, he would not know that a knife can cut off fingers.
When he is three, he is weaned and learns to eat.
Without his father, he would not know that poison can kill.
Without his mother, he would not know that medicine cures.
When the parents go to other houses
And are presented with marvelous delicacies,
They do not eat but put the food in their pockets
And take it home for the child, to make him rejoice...'

'The child grows,
The father brings cloth to cloth him.
The mother combs his locks.
The parents give every beautiful thing they possess to him,
Keeping for that which is old and worn.
The child takes a bride
And brings this stranger into the house.
The parents become more distant.
The new husband and wife are intimate with each other.
They stay in their own room, talking happily with each other.'

' The parents grow old.
Their spirits weaken, their strength diminishes
They have only the child to depend on,
Only his wife to do things for them.
But the child no longer comes to them,
Neither at night not in the daytime.
Their room is cold.
There is no more pleasant talk.
They are like lonely guests at an inn.
A crisis arises, and they call their child.
Nine times out of ten, he comes not,
Nor does he serve them.
He grows angry and reviles them,
Saying it would be better to die
Than to linger on unwanted in this world.
The parents listen, and their hearts are filled with rage,
Weaping, they say, " When you were young,
Without us, you would not have been born,
Without us you could not have grown.
Ah! how we'

It stops here in the book. I'll try to get the continuation.

Politics

2008-07-15T07:52:00.000-07:00

Watched the debat between Anwar- Shabery jsut now.It was quite interesting but i think it was not long enough to actually really seriously discuss the issue at hand - increasing oil prices and all that. And there were a lot of moments spent at taking jibes at each other's personal affairs. The debate sometimes went off point i think. Have to give the Shabery dude credit though for agreeing to go live and all that cause Anwar is known to be a seasoned speaker and he being a newbie and all i think did a good job and held his own.

Watched it with my parents.Halfway through my dad had to leave for an appointment so he left me in chargeof taking notes and then informing him later. I was like 'what?'..haha..felt like i was debating again and had to listen to the other team and take down points. At least i didn't have to prepare poi's. haha.

Later, when i was 'reporting' back to him..felt like i was some secretary. I think as usual i was writing too fast and didn't get wth i was scrawling at time

Doctors

2008-07-12T06:35:00.000-07:00

Just finished reading Doctors by Erich Segal. The first time i read it i was in Form 1 i think so it was quite a long time ago. Reading it again was awesome cause there were so many things i forgot and now it hits closer to home(in the sense that i'll be starting medical school soon). The book is incredibly 'real' in the way it depicts the situations and lives that doctor have to go through. I think the fact that Segal himself is a doctor makes the writing all the more accurate.

The novel tells the stories of a class of medical grads from Harvard from the time they start premed to their specialist years and so on. He writes about how they cope with all the pressure and how they handle social relationships while having to work hours on their job. The book was set during the 1950s onwards and in the prolougue the dean of med talks about how they only had the cure for 26 diseases. So at that time basically, there were so many things they didnt know how to treat.

One of the main characters Barney is a psychiatrist and he finds it shattering to find that most of those that need healing are his fellow doctors. So u get to read about all these 'wounded healers' and the pressure the public puts on them and so own. I think the books shows us that even a doctor spending his lifetime studying medicine may never truly understand it's mysteries. Like when the two main characters go through all means possible to save their child and when he survives they're not sure what was it that saved him. Whether it was the chinese healer they met, the new not FDA approved drug they tried or their own love.

" Med school provides perhaps the best substantiation for Charles Darwin's theory of natural selection. For here we see it in its cruelest form the survival of the fittest. Not the smartest, as one would expect . But the fittest to cope with the inhuman pressures ,the demands made not only on the brain but on the psyche..." from DOCTORS

Trip Down Memory Lane 2

2008-07-08T12:34:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday, met up with Hema at CS. I've known Hema since primary school and we were really close during that time and we stayed tight during the early years of high school. We got into different classes after form 3 so we weren't as close after that but we make a point to keep in touch cause you know, there's all those, memories we have. I think she's really different from me which i guess is a good thing. Sitting through lunch, i realised she hasn't changed much and things were just like old times.

Also, congrats to my smarty of a cousin Chitra for getting into KYUEM. Really proud of you!! Spent all day yesterday getting stuff for her and buyinh clothers, school supplies,etc.. it was fun...so exciting seeing other people going through the whole feeling of embarking on something new.

At the moment i'm rewatching GTO. I finished S.O.S but it was quite bad,slow and i hated hated the two main characters. It's hard to enjoy watching something when the lead characters piss you off most of the time. And even the part which i liked didn't end in a great way. So i need GTO to make get me out of the melodramatic funk and get me laughing. At the same time i'm watching The Life of Yamado Taro. My friend recommended it to me. It's okay. Very light comedy.

Rantings

2008-07-04T17:33:00.000-07:00

Yeah, im blogging about J-drama again. Haha. Sorry, but I can’t help it. Usually if I was at college, or my sibs were here I would be ranting to them about it and talking to myself is something I reserve to more perplexing stuff. Yeah, I’m crazy. Anyway, whenever I watch these dramas I always think about the situations these dramas portray and think about how I would react to them if they actually happened around me or to me. I find that most of the times I tend to disagree with the endings given, especially when it comes to love stories. I’m not a big believer in perfectly happy ever after endings. Moving on, coincidentally the last 3 dramas I watched had the theme student-teacher relationship them. I didn’t purposely choose these dramas because of that mind you. Only one of them was exclusively about that, the other two had it as one of the subplots. So I was thing about it, and whether I was against this kind of relationship or not. I came to the conclusion that I think I would have a problem with the teacher having a r’ship with

The student while they were in school but I think I wouldn’t have a problem with them having a relationship after that student graduated. I just think having the whole relationship within the school system is wrong. And anyway if they really loved each other and all that they can wait right. While most people I’ve talked to it about have a problem about the age difference, that factor doesn’t bother me. It never really has I think. If you’re planning on finding your life partner or something why limit yourself to those only in a certain age group. You never know what you’re missing and age doesn’t depict accurately how a person is.

This is on a totally different note but I was going through videos at You Tube and I was watching some Japanese variety shows where various actors and artistes are featured. Their variety shows are so chaotic and I think they’re really good at building the artistes image in the sense that they make a point to show them being all goofy or making a fool of themselves which I think is a great publicity stunt because viewers will then find them endearing. I doubt thought that everything is genuine and I think there’s a lot of play acting involved. Like there’s this vid where one of the members of this J-pop group was reading out a letter to his members and it’s like all sentimental, and it’s about how he feels bad that he got hospitalized and sick at one time and he’s weeping on air. And like his members all crying too. And the viewers really lap it all up. I’m not trying to say that dude wasn’t sincere but why does he have to read it on air. I mean, can’t you just do it when you’re with your group? Does the whole world have to hear? That’s what I find real dodgy. But then again, it’s the entertainment world so what do you expect right?

Another thing is that I don’t understand why they choose to wear whatever it is they’re wearing when they’re performing. The costumes are really bad. Seriously. Most of the times, they’re all extremely flashy, glittery and there’s things or like bits of cloth hanging off them. They look like over-decorated Christmas trees. Maybe it’s the style over there – but I think anyone would find it to be a bit too much.

Conclusion: I have to much free time to be doing all this. Haix. I guess I’m trying to cram as much fluff into my brain before I start first year med and the crazy studying commences.

P.s: XJ! I was actually contemplating getting Coffee Prince that day but I decided that starting on Korean dramas would not be a good idea. I’d start watching to many of them. Do I have to mention A Kindred Spirit? Haha. And I still think the guys all look like girls.

Walking Down Memory Lane

2008-07-04T17:32:00.000-07:00

Finally, finally me up with yana and ee wen. We’ve planned to meet a few times b4 but something always comes up. Went to CS and watched Hancock. I enjoyed it. It was funny, the plot was interesting and will smith was great. Had lunch at Sushi King - Yana had a hard time choosing a place to eat, hehe and talked, which was great cause there’s so many things we had to talk about. It’s great that even though all three of us may have changed in some way or another ( I think ee wen looks like this cute Japanese actor with her new haircut and Yana doesn’t have such a temper now – jk yana!) we can still click and just continue from where we left off before. And thanks Ee Wen for helping me with finding that J-drama I wanted. Fastest time ever it took for me to get something im looking for. Usually im bending over for ages reading all the titles one by one.

Scary World of Science

2008-07-04T17:30:00.000-07:00

Finished NEXT last week but havent' had time to blog about it.

One of the issues explored in the book is gene patenting, which I find to be a ridiculous idea. You can’t own a gene - it’s acceptable to patent a test for a gene but the gene itself should not exclusively be the property of a certain establishment. In this book, a court awards a biotechnology company right to a particular type of gene of a patient. When the company needs to acquire more of the genes from that patient they go so far as to try and kidnap the patient’s grandson- their rationale being that since they owned the gene- they also owned it when it’s passed down to his children and so on. Ridiculous right? Gene patenting halts researches and sometimes scientists aren’t sure which genes are patented and don’t to risk getting sued. Did you know that HIV and hepatitis c are like owned by some establishment. Should anyone really be allowed to own a disease?

Reading about stuff like these can be infuriating but it’s made me eager to want to find out more. His books always do that to you. Stats and researches in Michael Chrichton books are debatable at some points and I don’t think it should all be taken at face value because in the end it’ still a work of fiction. But it helps in trying to get the public interested in finding out more about issues going on around us.

This is an excerpt from his novel that I find quite true.

‘Science isn’t special-not anymore. There are now 3 million researchers in America. It is no longer a calling – it’s a career. Science is as corruptible human activity as any other. its practitioners aren’t saints, they’re human beings and they do what human beings do, they cheat, lie overstate their own importance and denigrate opposing views unfairly.’

Also finished reading A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini. It’s an easy read but it’s profound in many ways. The story is quite tragic. Will talk about it in some other time.

Rants

2008-06-28T13:05:00.000-07:00

Finally met up with Miss Navinder last Tuesday and Thursday. Been meaning to catch up with her for ages since i came back to jb but something always came up. Went with Atem on Tues and Xj on the next meeting. I think Miss Nav was one of the few teachers that really played a part in my 5 years in school. She was involved with us during debates, ISM and our Maxis Cyberlink competition and eventhough she worked us to the bone and tortured us to always do something better, she was also the one we used to bitch about all our problems at school to, whether it concerned our other teachers, our homework or just random issues.

School was still the same when we went back yet it felt different in the sense that we were the observers. I miss school sometimes but after going back i think i'm glad that it's over.

Also caught up with XJ. We get to meet each other like every 6 months or so(?) , so we spend a whole day updating each other about our lives and reminiscing about the past. It's a good way to keep track of each other.haha. Basically that's how it's been with most of my sec school friends. Don't have the luxury in seeing them everyday anymore.

I finished RANT by Chuck Palahniuk. It was a crazy ride reading it. I've read only one other book of his (SURVIVOR) so i kind of know that he writes about transgressional characters but i still feel awed with his book. At times i'm like wtf? like where is he going with the idea but the end result is fresh and what's more it's actually funny at times.

I'm reading NEXT now, a Michael Chrichton book. It's been a while since i last read anything by him so it makes for better reading. Once you start reading one book after another by the same author, you recognize their pattern and it becomes a bad book to you, when it reality it's fine. I made that same mistake when i went on a Sidney Sheldon reading spree when i was in Form 2-3 and a Jodi Picoult one later on. So that's why i decided to refrain myself from doing that with Michael Chricton after i read State of Fear and knew how it was going to end. But anyways, back to NEXT. It's about genetics, which i find to be such an attractive topic simply because it's something that is so revolutionary,controversial and ever-changing. And i want to know what he has to say about it. I'll talk more when i finish it.

Daring to Fail.

2008-06-25T11:44:00.000-07:00

I was reading Yana's blog and she was talking about how everyone's obsessed with getting on the dean's list and scoring straight A's. I guess that's just how everything is now. People talk a lot about how we're moving away from just looking at achievements from the academic point of view but if you look at the reality it's not really happening is it. Students (and parents too) are still clamoring for good grades.

I can't honestly say that i'm not part of this paper chase. I've grown up on good grades and doing well. In fact, i've never failed at anything before and that really freaks me out. Especially cause i'm worried if i fail in something later on in something much harder i wouldn't be able to cope with it. I'm not trying to sound like an arrogant brat or something but sometimes doing well most of the time stresses you out. People have such high expectations on you and sometimes they react to your downfalls more dramatically then you do. In my whole life, i've only not scored an A for English once, during Std 5, in a test where i used past tense instead of present tense in an essay. Well, obviously i was upset at that time but i got over it. What made that moment worst were the fact that some of my friends were making it out to be like some huge news.As if it could never happen.

Even now sometimes i dread getting my results back. I usually am the last one to go to the board to check my results even if i know i did well on it. I hate that feeling of insecurity. Really irritates me. haix. That's definitely one thing i want to get rid of.

Memory

2008-06-23T07:17:00.000-07:00

Our memory is what we retain and it's from there that we retrieve information. It's amazing the number of things we can remember or what kind of things we store into memories. Like the fact that i can remember clearly the day one of my aunties gave birth when i was about 6 yrs old and how the strawberry jelly on her dinner tray looked incredibly delicious. Or the vague memory of me and my sister silently fighting behind the sofa using badminton rackets and hitting each other.

I've just started playing piano for 2 weeks or so. And my coordination is way out of touch and i still struggle with trying to get my left hand to work in relation to my right hand. But it's amazing how i can flawlessly play certain pieces from like ages ago. There's this one piece 'greensleeves' which i loved to play when i was in primary school. And i was looking for the music sheet that day but i guessed i must have lost it so i thought i'd just try play it by ear. And surprisingly i could play it...i mean at first i was at times clanking the wrong notes but like as i went on i just seemed to remember where my hands should go. haha.

" Don't look into mirrors. They only show what you believe are your flaws"

Randam Thoughts II

2008-06-22T06:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterday went to Jusco to watch Kung Fu Panda with my sibs and Ravin. I loved the movie. It's so cute. The panda is so cuddly and it's like another version of Totoro! And watching it's antics and comelness was hilarious. I wouldn't mind watching again.

I finished reading this book On Chesil Beach by Ian Mcewan. Basically, it's about a couple in the 1960's who just got married and how they're both thinking of the impending first night. And i love how throughout this whole book the writer seams through the couple's history, how they met each other and all that. It's one of his more minor novels but i still love his writing. And i love how it's a love story but it's not just about that.

I was chatting with one of my friends from college yesterday and reminiscing and all that. hmm..i really miss being there and going through all the hecticness and craziness. I think my time in CUCMS were one of the happiest times i've ever experienced partly because i really liked what i was doing there, i loved the lecturers and the people around me- everyone was just like one big family.

Random Thoughts

2008-06-20T07:59:00.000-07:00

It's weird how we can get so attached to characters from tv shows or books. Sometimes, if you get caught up into the whole web the line between reality and illusion gets blurred. I think i used to get quite into it last time. Especially when i watched marathon of certain shows. Breathing the idiot box 24/7 can make you feel more connected to what you're watching than you're actually supposed to be. But i think some people take it a bit too far. Some people even get overly offended when i disagree with their choice of character or if i happened to side with another one. You would think it was as if i was insulting them personally or their family.

I hate shows where spouses commit infedelity or when a couple breaks up when one of their long lost love/ex-bf/childhood sweetheart comes back. I mean, it looks as if they just settles for second best when they ended up with whoever they were with at that time and they would just discard them away if the person they were waiting for came back. Which is why i hate Lucas's character from One Tree Hill. I've never seen anyone yo-yo so much from one person to another, and every single time claiming he is truly in love. And also another reason why i so like the movie Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam.

Sacrificing for Love

2008-06-20T07:44:00.000-07:00

Found another inspiring story in Paulo Coelho's book. This one is dedicated to atem...

It's quite long so im going to just write the gist of it.

A young cloud, a rebel instead of following his other cloud friends decided to hover over the golden sands and while he was there noticed one of the dunes smiling at him. He saw that the dune was also young,newly formed by the wind that had passed over. He fell in love with her golden hair right there and then.

'Good morning' he said. 'What's life like down there?'

'For me,' said the dune, life is short.When the wind returns from the forests, i will disappear.

'And does that make you sad?'

' It makes me feel like i have no purpose in life'. The dune hesitated for a moment ,then said:
'Did you know that here in the dessert,we call the rain paradise?'

' I had no idea i was so important,' the cloud said proudly.

'But i'll never experience that as it rains so rarely in the desser'

It was the cloud's turn to hesitate now. Then he smiled broadly and said:
' If you like i can rain on you now. I may have just got here but i love you.

' When i first saw you in the sky, i loved you too, ' said the dune.'But if you transferred your lovely white hair into rain,you will die.'

' Love never dies,' said the dune. ' it is transformed, and besides, i want to show you what paradise is like.'

And he began to caress the dune with little droplets of rain, so that they could stay together longer.

The following day, the little dune was covered in flowers. Other clouds that passed over, thought it was part of the forest they were looking for and scattered more rain. 20 years later, the dune had been transformed into and oasis.

And all because, one day, a cloud fell in love,and was not afraid to give his life for that love.

Congrats!!

2008-06-18T10:32:00.000-07:00

First of all, i want to give a big shout out of congratulation to atem for getting into medicine!! yeay!! freaking happy for you girl. and you totally deserve it. can't wait to see you as a doctor. and it's so cool that she'll get to study in the same place as Yana and Kauthar. So fun!!

Had more piano classes today. i'm really liking it so far. and my instructor is so sweet. she's young, and she's patient - seeing as more often than not my fingers are clanking the wrong notes.haha. still, it's fun playing the piano again.

Driving Fever

2008-06-13T22:18:00.000-07:00

Been having my driving lessons for the past week. it's been damn tiring weyh. Have to say i still am not so into it. I think im doing ok considering the fact that the last time i practiced it was a year ago. learned how to park today. wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. But it wasn't so fun doing just that for two hours.haix....and it's not as if those tiangs will be there in real life driving. but overall, im just hopes i can get over it soon. i'm in no hurry to start driving my own car or anything though. im happy letting people drive me around....hehe. thanks nebbe! haha

Also, yesterday went out for my auntie's bday party. Having a family which is quite rojak with chinese, indian and malay makes us, the members of the family look not so alike with each other. So its not a rarity to find some people looking at us with this like ' how did this bunch of people end up together' look when we go out together. Which i find ridiculous. i mean, hello? We living in Malaysia people. I remember once when we going through customs in London, this officer would not let my mum through cause he was convinced she was of Chinese nationality. We had to convince him that i was the daughter( seeing i looked most like her in the family), it was quite a funny moment for a while.

My sister is coming back today. Yeay! i miss her so much. It was fun having the house to myself for a month and a half, but now i'm ready to share.hehe. I was cleaning up the room so it would look presentable yesterday and i found some photographs from a few years back,during form 5. Felt so nostalgic for a moment. Especially, when i realise that i've only kept in touch with a few and even then i don't get to see them that much. hwa3. And this is only college life!!!(like u said yana)....and i just know that its going to be even hectic down the road. Looking at my sister is like seeing what my life will prob be like in first year.

But hey ! that's life right? i should cherish the fact that at least i have not lost touch with my closest friends.

Top 5 Memories in Form 5
1. Winning ISM (especially w hen i won it with my closest friends)
2. 17th bday party. ( i loved that awesome photo frame with the cute now and then photos)
3. Add math tuition. ( im being a nerd here.if u knew who my teacher was, u'd love it too)
4. All those times spent in Kerrys between and after tuition.
5. Our post-SPM outing

Makes you wanna scream.

2008-06-12T12:35:00.000-07:00

Whenever i watch anything, if there are english subtitles, i put them on, even if it's an English show. I'm not sure why. Maybe caue it helps clarifies things. But i hate hate hate when the subtitles are so tak sama. like when you know the dude just freakin typed what he thinks is being said. I've had my share of bad subtitles, and sometimes they provide good comedy. I remember the utterly despicable subtitles of my Harry Potter 2 dvd. i think Dumbledore was saying something like ' it will be reborned from the ashes'. the subtitles states 'rebombed' instead of reborned. gosh, it really ruined the whole moment cause i just burst out laughing.

Worse is terrible subtitles for foreign movies. That is totally nerve wrecking. I hate it when the screen shows the same subtitles for what seems like ages, and you know the character is saying more than that. Im having to go through that now, watching the Blood + anime. The subtitles are just a whole case of bad grammer. And as i go further on, i start to realize that it's been misleading me when it comes to some things.haha. like all this time i thought they were saying 'diver' but actually they're saying 'diva'....damn you subtitles!! And i remember when i was watching 1 litre of tears and the dude is telling the girl he likes her. But when i checked the Malay subtitles, he was saying he loved her. Love and like is totally different things okay!!! okay...maybe here i'm being a little dramatic.

Hmm... best solution for all this would be to go learn the language. Which i really hope i can do one day, especially want to learn Mandarin and Japanese. Hmm...maybe i'll make that my next holiday project after first year medic. InsyaAllah.

Top 5 Favourite Japanese Drama
1. Long Vacation
2. GTO
3. Beautiful Life
4. One Litre of Tears
5. Hero

p.s I finally watched this Gatsby commercial with Takuya Kimura in it as my cousin was saying how weird and gay it was. And she was right. it was totally gay. he's just like spinning around spraying himself all the time and it's hilarious in a way. I was a bit like wth when i watched it. haha

Deficiency in Romanticsm

2008-06-11T03:00:00.000-07:00

I have to say i'm not much of a romantic. Maybe when i was younger, yeah but then growing older i think i became more cynical and too much of romantic thingys was not something i could stomach. ( Still, i do shed a tear or two watching Japanese drama/anime - it doesnt help that almost all of them have freaking sad OST).

Still, sometimes i come across a story or two that does tug at my heart strings. Especially one particular one from Paulo Coelho's book ' Like A Flowing River'. It's a true story..here's how it goes..

I( the author) was flying from New York to Chicago to attend the book fair held by ABA. Suddenly, a young man stood up in the aisle of the plane and announced: ' I need twelve volunteers each willing to carry a single rose when we get off the plane'.
Several people raised their hands. I did too, but wasn't chosen. Even so, i decided to follow the group. We landed and the young man indicated a young woman in the arrivals hall.
One by one, the passengers presented their roses to her. At last, in front of everyone, the young man asked her to marry him, and she accepted.
An air steward said to me :
i've been working here for years and that's the most romantic thing that has ever happened in this airport."

So sweet kan??? especially since it actually happened..major aww moment.

Top 5 Love Stories
1. Love Story - Erich Segal
2. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
3. The Pact- Jodi Picoult
4. By the River Piedra i sat Down and Wept- Paulo Coelho
5.The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffeneggar

Making you laugh out loud.

2008-06-10T12:16:00.000-07:00

I forgot to explain why i chose to name my blog " Wishing you were somewhere else". I love to read, as most people who know me are aware of. Anyway i remembered there was this quote from Mark Twain (im not sure, have to check on it) about how reading was like wishing you were somewhere else or something like that, which is how i always feel while i'm reading.

Anyway, i just finished re-reading Nick Hornby's High Fidelity. High Fidelity was the first Nick Hornby book i read, i think i was in form 3/4 that time. Reading it again, i found it even more hilarious then before. One thing i love about British comedic writers like Nick Hornby
their writing style, it somehow always makes you laugh out loud- like haha laugh out loud.

Generally, i've always liked reading works by British authors. They always had this subtle subtext thing going on. For melah, that is.

TOP 5 BOOKS I'VE JUST READ
1. Picadally Jim - P.G Wodehouse
2. The Princess Bride - William Goldman
3. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hoseini
4. Slam - Nick Hornby
5. Love in The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

“It's no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn't even speak to each other if they met at a party.” - High Fidelity

Here's to you, Yana!

2008-06-10T03:05:00.000-07:00

This happens to be my third in a series of failed blogs. I've never been able to keep going with one. I'd have crazy bouts where i'd write post after post and then the next thing i know, i'm just malas. Hmm... does that say something about me? It probably does but let's not dwell on that. haha.

Anyway, i got a sms this morning from Yana telling me i should start a blog cause she's starting one and seeing as we never get to meet up and we catch each other online once in a blue moon, it seemed like the logical way of being able to be in the know about each other's doings. So... this first post is for you Yana Nut and i hope there will be many more after this.

I always lose track of what i want to write about on my blog. I'm not quite open to detailing my personal experinces so much...only to a certain extent so i find myself blogging on random subjects most of the time. We'll just see how it goes from here. I'm having my holidays now so i have loads of free time.

Going on... well, im starting my piano lessons tomorrow. I'm damn excited about it. I've always been into the piano. I love seeing people play them and i can get lost listening to them on my ipod. It's astounding to me how people create all these magical crazy blow your mind sounds just from the tips of their fingers. I guess that goes for any cool music i hear. Especially classical work. I mean, there's no lyrics and what not to go with it so everything lies on the notes. Ok yeah, im babbling here. Anyway, back to my story....i've somewhat always regretted stopping my piano learning somewhat halfway and it's been about 6 years when i last played a new song. But the thing is i've never been so into going for the exams and learning all that seeing as those certificates don't really mean anything to me( to offense to all you pianists out there). i've always just wanted to play.

So, my aim is to use this lessons to get back on track and to just learn to play some songs i like. I've printed sheet music for some tunes that i reli like. i've been trying out one. Aerith's theme frome final fantasy. i've never played that game but i love the composer's work. At first, looking at the notes and trying it out on the piano was a bit daunting. i've forgotten that i had to stretch my fingers a lot( especially since i don't have long ones), but i have to give myself a pat on the back for being able to get throught it.

hmm...also i've decided that at the end of each post i'll write a list based on my post. we'll seelah how far i can go with this.

So.... TOP 5 CLASSICAL COMPOSITIONS I LOVE

Mozart - symphony No.25
Vivaldi - Four Seasons
Schubert - Serenade
Pachelbel- Canon in D Major
anything by Chopin

OK, signing off. Hopefully, i'll be coming back.