This will be my last post. I've realised that it's not so fun to write on a blog. I remember when i first started a blog, it was because atem, yana and i needed some medium where we could always update each other on whatever was going on in our lives - because we never got to meet up after form 5.

Anyway, i've gone back to the old-fashioned way of writing in a diary :). It's tiring on the hands, but it has it's perks too :)


p.s Happy New Year!! And i saw Redza walk (finally!!!) yesterday ~~lalala

The previous week has been really taxing on me. As optimistic as i usually was, i was finding it really hard to keep myself afloat. Lately, i've been speaking to a few people and we were contemplating why most of us seemed to have lost our drive to work hard and perform well. You can ask me a thousand times and i'll say over and over again that i'm totally loving NS. Bile bace buku neuroscience, i'm just awed at times by it's brilliance. Overwhelming as it is, it is also interesting as hell. But honest to god, i can't seem to apply this interest during my weekly exams. I feel so bored of the weekly exams.And before i get to feeling totally indifferent about it, i think i should do something.

And i think i found part of the answer during the weekend. :) Not exactly about how to get excited about weekly assessments but about sustaining my inner drive and motivation.

p.s will have to continue later. anatomy beckons :)

Bite sized nuggets

My friends have started complaining that i don't update them anymore whether by phone or blogging. Hee...sorry. I'm guilty as charged. I seriously have been a bit AWOL with you guys. But i'm making up for it. I'm going to cram up as much stuff as possible in this post k. (Atem:i did reply you real fast that day though :P)

All you need to know in bite sized info:

1. LTDJ is in a month or so and it's keeping me busy as hell. Am i enjoying my work as the secretary? I'm not going to lie, it goes right up my alley. But do i want to do it again? Not for a long while..

2. I'm excited about our motivational program for LTDJ. I'm excited to learn the modules from Khalifah Institute. And i hope that if we do well, we can set up our own motivation unit. There's a lot i need to learn when it comes to this field, but i have a outcome i've set in my mind, something i'd like to see happen in the future. So if i need to take baby steps to get there, i'm all for it.

3.I've lost interest in something and i'm making efforts to gain it back, insya-Allah

4. I'm in love with the brain :p. CNS has been great so far. The brain in itself is a huge topic and nothing fails to amaze me.

5.I found out that my brain is more concrete sequential dominant and that i don't like risks and that i need to be more random. No surprises there.

6. My nephew Redza makes me smile like a crazy person when im alone. I miss him terribly all the time and am constantly worried he'll forget me whenever i don't see him for a few weeks. He claps when you show him a piccie of a baby clapping! And dances!And still sleeps in weird positions.

7.I can't wait for January to come cause there are so many things i want to start.

8.I have successfully reduced the number of hours i need to sleep in a day.

9.I'm reading books by Torey Hayden and am so in awe of her. I think Maya would be perfect doing what Torey does.

10. I know and love my housemates more.The house is always filled with laughter, even when there's a quarrel going on. :P

11. I still don't have a boyfriend.So i think i'll win the bet :p

11. I miss you guys loads and i wish i could be telling you guys all this in person :).

I'm so tired nowadays. Seriously, i always seem to be lacking of sleep, there always seems to be something that needs to be done, my planner lists one meeting after another...and materials that need to be studied keep piling up.

I think that i may have bitten off more than i can chew. Tapi Prof.Latiff always says and my sister always reminds me that ' A Muslim never rests until he/she is in the grave' and i do think that too a certain point all these things i'm involved in are important to me and for me.

But when you have too many of these stuff, you kind of have to start prioritizing. And i think I've a least let one very important responsibility of mine slip by, and it's been bugging me for the last few weeks.

So i decided it was time for some spring cleaning.And so i made a list. And i scratched out some things from the list. And i do feel a bit better, if only a bit.

p.s I failed for the very first time. Hemato dapat 48. Bayangkanlah, 85% of the class failed. When the failure rate is that high, i have to say, i don't think the problem lies with the students...But back on the subject of me failing for the first time, i'm proud to say i didn't go into shock or anything :p

p.p.s I went for the ESQ leadership training. I found the content refreshing, interesting and definitely the best among any motivation/ leadership courses ive been to so far. But the way they decided to present the information...let's just say at times i felt traumatized + horrified. Tapi kite amik dgn kite bende yg baik saja, n there were loads of good stuff to learn from this programme.

p.p.p.s I'm getting tired of placing my confidence and giving my support to certain people. Rasenye cam lately, i've been making up too many excuses to cover their faults.

Randoms

I read about the 'cow-head' demonstration thingy everyday and it angers and embarrasses me how stupid and ignorant some people are. How some people claim they know Islam yet do stuff that is totally against what it teaches. Watching the council meeting video and Hishamuddin's press conference i'm only left with disgust and a certain sense of sadness.

We talked about tolerance that day. Because we see less and less of it being practiced. And i don't agree with what you think. That tolerating something you don't agree with means being weak, giving in.

(Fight in the cause of Allah those who fight you, but do not transgress limits; for Allah loves not transgressors) (Al-Baqarah 2:190)

Intermission

I haven't written in ages. Not because i have nothing to say but i'm having trouble sorting out my thoughts - and there are so many of them going through my mind.

Trust me to use the few hours before my final exam to sneak in a post :p. This is so weird - I'm feeling relaxed and happy...yet the numerous papers strewn around my mattress signals to me that I'm not supposed to. My mind is definitely not on this final exam.

You know, it's so weird ~ this block has been one of the most challenging ones so far, what with the missed classes, the asthma attacks, the added tasks tapi I think it would be hard for me to pinpoint a day where i didn't go to bed feeling happy.I guess while i had all these other things that were seemingly bringing me up, i also had a myriad of other things that were boosting me up :) As usual, God works in mysterious ways.

This recent phase of complacency is a bit troubling tapi some people tell me it's a good thing for me.

So much to say! But i should stop now.

p.s My mum datang esok!

Post - Quarantine

Being quarantined leaves you with loads of time. Time which should be used for example, on studying the sgt banyak topics of anatomy for respi. But there's only so much anatomy i can take before my mind starts rejecting terms like rima glottidis and arytenoids.

So i had time to think. And write. And make lists. And look back on lists i made before. I found a list i made during the early part of 1st year, and one i made about 2 months ago. What struck me was the total contrast between the two lists, which listed things i wanted to do or complete - which mirrored my priorities during those two periods. Agak best to see my different states of mind :)

Anyway, i think this quarantine was a blessing in disguise. One thing that bummed me out about the fact that my 2 month holiday was cut down to only a mere 8 days in JB was because i didn't get to spend enough time with my mum. Rase like dah lame tak cakap2 with her and i was missing her. So when her time in KL coincided with my quarantine moments, it was truly perfect timing :). Alhamdullilah.

A lot has been said regarding the issue of PPSMI. Honestly, i didn't find too much fault with the decision. I've always felt the decision to teach Maths and Science in English earlier on wasn't really implemented that well, and from what i've observed, the level of English of the kids during that phase hasn't really improved that much.

I was part of the generation of students that learnt almost everything in BM. Did i have trouble coping with the sudden change of having to study in English when i entered Foundation. Nope, cause Alhamdullilah i had a good English background,I read loads of English books and i spent most of my time conversing in English.

So i think what's more crucial is improving the student's punye English language proficiency through a better teaching of the English language itself. If they have a good basic grasp of the language that it wouldn't be so much of a problem learning other stuff in English later on.

Another orientation session is over. This one was extremely tiring as the planning process started much earlier. It was especially tiresome having to think of modules over the phone, especially when Fifah and i seemed to be calling each other at different hours of the day.

Tapi this was also one of the funnest orientations i've been involved in when i look at the aspect of the people i had to work with. Sgtlah suke the fact that most of the facis were staying over at our apartment and the bisingness and hoohaaness and bonding is something i'm going to miss when i stay an extra one week in cyber starting tomorrow.

Certain things we did during this orientation i hope will bear some positive outcomes. I even volunteered to give a taskirah, which was something i never planned tapi it was part challenge for myself/part being forced by other people. I have nothing against giving a taskirah or anything tapi i've never done it for a big group of people.

People keep on telling me i'd have no problem doing it because i've done other forms of public speaking. But the thing is when i'm debating or story-telling or doing a forum, i'm not really expecting to impact the audience that much nor do i really believe much in the words im saying.

So, this time it was much, much different. But i've always felt that if you just stay in your comfort zone, without trying something new, you'll never amount to much, so i did it. I think it went okay...kids actually did come up to me after that to ask me questions on the things i talked about and i got positive feedbacks :)

'You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.'
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Something i found out today about someone dear to me has made me extremely happy. So much so that i can't stop smiling..weeee!!

Haha..i guess this post has no relevance at all. Just about me being happy.

InsyaAllah, everything from here onwards will go smoothly.

I think i've been getting to hung up over matters and it's been harder and harder to be the 'bigger person' in situations i find myself in.Instead, i've decided to just not care, finding it to be the more attrative option at times.

Which is ironic, since i was just writing that day about how happy it makes me to see that people care.

Now that i think of it, how certain things have played out, to some extent part of the fault lies with me.

"Kind words and forgiving of faults are better than Sadaqah (charity) followed by injury. And Allâh is Rich (Free of all wants) and He is Most-Forbearing"
[2:263]

Haix..i agak sedih sebenarnyer. About a very trivial matter...but some things just don't change u noe?

Tapi my friends define me as someone very optimistic and when they have problems, it's usual for them to come to me to help them find the light at the end of the tunnel.

I should be able to do that for myself too right? :)

Okay! Think positive!


p.s missing redza,jb and my ISM buddies terribly.

This week has been a kaleidoscope of emotions for me. I've gone through bouts of anger, frustration, gratefulness, helplessness, disgust, amazement and sometimes sheer happiness.

Thanks to those who so willingly helped and gave their support. It never fails to lift my spirit when i see people care :)

I feel so blessed.


"A candle loses none of its light by lighting another candle."

Those who spend [in Allâh's Cause - deeds of charity, alms, etc.] in prosperity and in adversity,who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allâh loves Al-Muhsinûn(the good­doers).

(Al-`Imran 3:134)

Too Cute For Words

A whole day of kelam kabutness with plans going astray, not to mention getting my ass kicked by a psycho test. Balik ke d'sara dgn perasaan stress..until i saw this little dude...



Happiness:)Alhamdullilah

A friend(A) and I decided to do a little bit of intervention with a friend(B) of ours who in our minds seemed to have changed drastically over the last few weeks. The plan was to draw out the reason for her change and to a certain point to lessen the gap that had somehow opened up between us.

Unfortunately, the plan didn't go to well. I had told A from the start that under no circumstance was she to get emotional. That we were not going to provoke B into getting defensive. Tapi from the start, it was as if A had not heard anything i said. From what was supposed to a be a reconciliation of sorts, it turned into a blaming game.

I hate it when people let their emotions take over. When they feel that they need to prove their point with raised voices, accusations and heavy sarcasm. You think you are changing the minds of those listening but you only lower your own credibility.

Singa tue

I fell down...again. Remember XJ, how we used to say cempedak nangke? It was exactly like that :). One good thing has come out from this fall - i sleep a lot more due to the meds...but not a good thing when i remember i have double the usual topics coming out for this week's assessment.

We celebrated Nebbe's & Amal's bday with a small surprise act yesterday. Decided to utilize my back pain to the max..hehe. I think Nebbe thought it was all a prank until i started crying. Amal of course being our resident drama queen was emotional..i think she nearly had a heart attack. Anyways, kudos to you two. At least i know now if i had a real emergency you guys are definitely the ones to depend on :)

My friends call me 'singa tue' now. Because of my back pain..and the fact that apparently i've become more garang now. Betul ke? (as my babun bro would say).

Reflections

It just struck me today, that i have less than a month left before i end my first year. With that thought in mind and the recent LTDT program in Terengganu hullabaloo just over, there's a lot to think about and reflect on.

There are still so many things i have yet to complete.

I still have trouble sleeping. I'm trying out a few remedies now:) InsyaAllah it'll help.

I think at times i try to do to much and sometimes that causes me to neglect things that are more important.

Rase sgt bersalah at times.

About honey and bees

When i was in primary school, my mum bought a set of books about explaining about the life of bees, ants and other insects. I remember being intrigued by the one about bees. Certain bits of information about these honey making creatures that i can still remember till now are like how they have 5 eyes, how their wings flap more than 11,000 times per minute or how there were quite fastidious about cleanliness. And i found it crazy that they had to visit 2 million flowers to get a pound of honey.

Ever since i started my first year, i constantly have these 'wow' moments, where i'm just bowled over by the incredibleness of God's creations. Of course everywhere around us we're reminded of His greatness but it's a different sense of awareness when it is in regards to the human body, something that is happening inside us.

Recently i learnt that the heart doesn't feel pain. I had no idea about that before this. I learnt that it is through the orchestrated openings and closings of the ion channels that brings about the contraction of our heart. Amazing, ain't it?

Narrated 'Alqama:

I asked 'Aisha, mother of the believers, "O mother of the believers! How were the deeds of the Prophet? Did he use to do extra deeds of worship on special days?" She said, "No, but his deeds were regular and constant, and who among you is able to do what the Prophet was able to do (i.e. in worshipping Allah)?"

Sahih Bukhari Volume 8, Book 76, Number 473:

ROAD LESS TRAVELED

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference

Robert Frost

When i read this poem ages ago during secondary school i thought it was kind of inspirational. A friend mailed it to me yesterday and reading it again,i find that it's just more about how making choices is something inevitable.

Random thoughts

There are so many thoughts running through my mind at the moment. I would love to be able to speak to someone about them, yet i think for now, it'll just come out in a jumble of words.

Penatlah today. There were ups and downs. Today's assessment was the best i've had so far for this block. Not because of the results,but i think i really tried to prepare for it as much as i could. Granted, i need to spend more time on the materials to actually really score but you know what, i have more important things to concentrate on at the same time.

I think i'll be saying goodbye to a friend soon. Everything's for the best kan?

I found the Quran that i misplaced..happy :)

My parents are coming back on Sunday..can't wait. I miss them.

In every situation, there's always some good that can be done. Cume nak buat tu susah sket lah. I'm trying.

Our group's reflection today was the most silent and awkward one yet.Things are hanging by the edge i think.


"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can;and the wisdom to know the difference."

So Cute

A man once came to the Messenger of Allah(pbuh) and complained that he feels hardness in his heart. The Messenger of Allah said, ” Would you like that your heart becomes soft and that you acquire what you need? Be merciful with the orphan, pat his head and feed him from what you eat. This will soften your heart, and enable you to get what you need.”

I'll be going back to my sister's place in an hour or so. Tak sabar... can't wait to see redza again :) he helps me destress...hehe

The whole day today since morning has been about clearing my mind. I cleaned the apartment, i read my favourite verses, i made lists, called an old friend,played around with the keyboard and played with the cat who seems to have made our garden his permanent home.

And now i'm all sunshine and blue clouds. :)

There is always a sense of frustration that boils up in you when the end result you get from something is not on par with what you expected. I went through two such experiences this past two weeks. Dealing with one of them was especially hard.

Yet i experienced a deep sense of happiness two days ago when things took a turn for the better. And this happy feeling and thankfulness would have been lacking i guess if if i didn't have to go through all that keserabutan at first.

I've grown up a bit more i guess. The bigger picture is clearer now, insyaAllah.


'And if We give man a taste of Mercy from Us, and then withdraw it from him, verily! He is despairing, ungrateful. But if We let him taste good (favour) after evil (poverty and harm) has touched him, he is sure to say: "Ills have departed from me." Surely, he is exultant, and boastful (ungrateful to Allah). Except those who show patience and do righteous good deeds, those: theirs will be forgiveness and a great reward (Paradise).'

[Surah Hud verse 9-11]

Charitable Acts

Abu Hurairah, radiyallahu 'anhu, reported that the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, said :

"On every person's joints or small bones (i.e. fingers and toes), there is sadaqah (charity) every day the sun rises. Doing justice between two people is sadaqah; assisting a man to mount his animal, or lifting up his belongings onto it is sadaqah; a good word is sadaqah; every step you take towards prayer is sadaqah; and removing harmful things from pathways is sadaqah."

[Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

A short update for my buddies who've been complaining that i've abandoned them. Sorry guys!

After what was a much needed holiday, i'm back here in Cyber and again i'm in a period of minimum sleep, late nights, and endless meetings. At the end of the day, i guess i wouldn't have it any other way and this IS the path i chose but sometimes i can't help thinking what it'd be like to be one of those people that go to class and when it ends, go back to their apartments.

Of course, whenever i'm feeling bagged down by everything, it doesn't take much to turn my mood around. Reality hits me hard most times, and i see that i have it much better than a lot of people. And as always, God gives you a lot to be thankful about.:)

Musculoskeletal block has started. I actually find it fun but i wish i was given more time to get on with the whole flow of things. Sigh...it's Monday and i think i've already forgotten what the extensor muscles of the forearm are.

Having my parents come over today was a big boost. Seeing my parents being so excited going through my Netter's atlas and trying to make me see the interestingness of it all gave me some fuel to go through the next 4 weeks at least.

p.s: my mind is full of numerous things. would love to write it all down but i don't knwo where to start.

Abu ‘Abdullah Jabir bin ‘Abdullah al-Ansari, radiyallahu anhuma, reported that a man questioned the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam, saying:

"Do you see, if I pray the prescribed (prayers), fast during Ramadhan, treat the lawful as permissible and treat the forbidden as prohibited, but do nothing more than that, shall I enter Paradise?” He (the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam) answered: “Yes.”

[Muslim],


Being a good muslim is easy, it is us who choose to make it difficult.

Abu Hurairah, radiyallahu 'anhu, reported that a man said to the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam:

"Advise me! "The Prophet said, "Do not become angry and furious." The man asked (the same) again and again, and the Prophet said in each case, "Do not become angry and furious."
[Al-Bukhari; Vol. 8 No. 137]

The last two weeks or so, i've gotten into the habit of waking up and reaching for the Hadith Bukhari lying in a pile of books next to me. I've found that it never fails to give me some sort of motivation to start off the day in a good mood, especially when I have to wake up for a 2 hour lecture after having slept for only a few hours.I usually just pick a random page.

Today, i opened the page to the hadith above. How apt.

Trying to control my anger has been the hardest thing to do this week.

Love : Reality or Fantasy

Volume 4, Book 52, Number 41:

Narrated Abdullah bin Masud:

I asked Allah's Apostle, "O Allah's Apostle! What is the best deed?" He replied, "To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times." I asked, "What is next in goodness?" He replied, "To be good and dutiful to your parents." I further asked, what is next in goodness?" He replied, "To participate in Jihad in Allah's Cause." I did not ask Allah's Apostle anymore and if I had asked him more, he would have told me more.

Narrated 'Abdullah bin Mas'ud:

The Prophet said, "Do not wish to be like anyone except in two cases. (The first is) A person, whom Allah has given wealth and he spends it righteously; (the second is) the one whom Allah has given wisdom (the Holy Qur'an) and he acts according to it and teaches it to others."

The believers, in their love, mercy, and kindness to one another are like a body: if any part of it is ill, the whole body shares its sleeplessness and fever.

Narrated in Saheeh Muslim, 2586, and Saheeh Al-Bukhari, 6011.

REST

I finally have the time to actually write something. Back in JB now, for a week's break - Yeay! can be with Red! he's so big and cute...totaly adorable.

Okay..back to recapping what's been happening over the last month or so. Honestly,with all the things i've been doing over the last few weeks i feel i've grown so much internally as a person. My eyes and mind have been opened so many times to new things and new issues. I have loads to say and it's at times like these i wish Yana and Atem were here so we could have our long long hangouts.

Whether it's being involved in the Peduli Palestin campaign,managing the tutor programme, dealing with my Student Council duties or just the psychotic everyday ongoings of my friends, i feel blessed that i have the chance to do something meaningful in so many different avenues. Granted, i'm left with not much sleep most of the time and certain periods of crankiness but the satisfaction you get is priceless.

It overwhelms me sometimes the amount of knowledge there is out there and the amount of things i want to know and how time seems to be always running out. It reminds me of the verse in the Quran that says something along the likes of 'If you use all the water in the ocean as ink, you would still not be able to completely write down all the knowledge in the world'. At the moment, i have 5 books in my room, all about different matters ranging from religion to science. Sigh. Sometimes i wish i wasn't a medical student. Then i'd maybe have the time to actually sit down and read them properly. I don't even have the time to read fiction now, it has truly become a luxury.

But i'm not complaining. If my life wasn't this busy, I'd be bored and that'd be even worse.

Truly, i love how everything is right now. For a long time now, I've felt that a lot of things in my life have fallen in the right place. I have God to thank for that of course. I love the people around me, my friends and i love the changes I've seen in me.

Even the thing that i dislike the most in my life right now - having to study microbiology doesn't really stress me out that much. It's true the classes are boring and in reality i couldn't be bothered with half the things we're learning, and yes, i was at first disappointed with my assessment marks, but I've learned to take all these things in stride now. I take to heart now what Prof. Latif said - studying, memorizing, weekly assesments, things like these are just like bread and butterin a medical student's life. It's the other things you do at the same time like volunteer work, helping your peers, things that shape you to become a decent a huan being - those are the ones that really matter.

So i've become less of an academic centred person and i'm moving towards a more holistic, balanced one hopefully. I've been trying to do so for a while and i think i'm getting better at it. Alhamdullilah.

PURPLE CARNIVAL 2009

The Humiliation of America

The White House Moron Stumbles to the Finish

The Humiliation of America

By PAUL CRAIG ROBERTS

"Early Friday morning the secretary of state was considering bringing the cease-fire resolution to a UNSC vote and we didn't want her to vote for it," Olmert said. "I said 'get President Bush on the phone.' They tried and told me he was in the middle of a lecture in Philadelphia. I said 'I'm not interested, I need to speak to him now.' He got down from the podium, went out and took the phone call."

"Let me see if I understand this," wrote a friend in response to news reports that Israeli Prime Minister Olmert ordered President Bush from the podium where he was giving a speech to receive Israel's instructions about how the United States had to vote on the UN resolution. "On September 11th, President Bush is interrupted while reading a story to school children and told the World Trade Center had been hit--and he went on reading. Now, Olmert calls about a UN resolution when Bush is giving a speech and Bush leaves the stage to take the call. There exists no greater example of a master-servant relationship."

Olmert gloated as he told Israelis how he had shamed US Secretary of State Condi Rice by preventing the American Secretary of State from supporting a resolution that she had helped to craft. Olmert proudly related how he had interrupted President Bush's speech in order to give Bush his marching orders on the UN vote.

Israeli politicians have been bragging for decades about the control they exercise over the US government. In his final press conference, President Bush, deluded to the very end, said that the whole world respects America. In fact, when the world looks at America, what it sees is an Israeli colony.

Responding to mounting reports from the Red Cross and human rights organizations of Israel's massive war crimes in Gaza, the United Nations Human Rights Council voted 33-1 on January 12 to condemn Israel for grave offenses against human rights.

On January 13, the London Times reported that Israelis have gathered on a hillside overlooking Gaza to enjoy the slaughter of Palestinians in what the Times calls "the ultimate spectator sport."

It is American supplied F-16 fighter jets, helicopter gunships, missiles, and bombs that are destroying the civilian infrastructure of Gaza and murdering the Palestinians who have been packed into the tiny strip of land. What is happening to the Palestinians herded into the Gaza Ghetto is happening because of American money and weapons. It is just as much an attack by the United States as an attack by Israel. The US government is complicit in the war crimes.

Yet in his farewell press conference on January 12, Bush said that the world respects America for its compassion.

The compassion of bombing a UN school for girls?

The compassion of herding 100 Palestinians into one house and then shelling it?

The compassion of bombing hospitals and mosques?

The compassion of depriving 1.5 million Palestinians of food, medicine, and energy?

The compassion of violently overthrowing the democratically elected Hamas government?

The compassion of blowing up the infrastructure of one of the poorest and most deprived people on earth?

The compassion of abstaining from a Security Council vote condemning these actions?

And this is a repeat of what the Israelis and Americans did to Lebanon in 2006, what the Americans did to Iraqis for six years and are continuing to do to Afghans after seven years. And still hope to do to the Iranians and Syrians.

In 2002 I designated George W. Bush "the White House Moron." If there ever was any doubt about this designation, Bush's final press conference dispelled it.

Bush talked about connecting the dots, but Bush has failed to connect any dots for eight solid years. "Our" president was a puppet for a cabal led by Dick Cheney and a handful of Jewish neoconservatives, who took control of the Pentagon, the State Department, the National Security Council, the CIA, and "Homeland Security." From these power positions, the neocon cabal used lies and deception to invade Afghanistan and Iraq, pointless wars that have cost Americans $3 trillion, while millions of Americans lose their jobs, their pensions, and their access to health care.

"These obviously very difficult economic times," Bush said in his press conference, "started before my presidency."

Bush has plenty of liberal company in failing to connect a $3 trillion dollar war with hard times. The Center on Budget and Policy Priorities blames Bush's tax cut, not the wars, for "the fiscal deterioration."

Bush told the White House Press Corps, a useless collection of non-journalists, that the two mistakes of his invasion of Iraq were: (1) Putting up the "mission accomplished" banner on the aircraft carrier, which, he said, "sent the wrong message," and (2) the absence of the alleged weapons of mass destruction that he used to justify the invasion.

Although Bush now admits that there were not any such weapons in Iraq, Bush said that the invasion was still the right thing to do.

The deaths of 1.25 million Iraqis, the displacement of 4 million Iraqis, and the destruction of a country's infrastructure and economy are merely the collateral damage associated with "bringing freedom and democracy" to the Middle East.

Unless George W. Bush is the best actor in human history, he truly believes what he told the White House Press Corps.

What Bush did not explain is how America is respected when its people put a moron in charge for eight years.

Paul Craig Roberts was Assistant Secretary of the Treasury in the Reagan administration.

http://www.counterpunch.org/roberts01142009.html

taken from chedet.cc

ARE WE NOT HUMAN?

Are We Not Human?

By Mohammed Ali, an advocacy and media researcher for Oxfam who lives in Gaza City.

The air, the sea and the earth in Gaza City are now occupied by the Israeli military. They occupy Gazans' minds, nerves and ears too.

In a bid to stop my children twitching, jerking, trembling and waking at every sound of an attack during their few hours of sleep and their many waking hours, I put cotton wool in their ears - it has not worked.

We ran out of fuel for our generator, which meant that we were confined to a small room filled with eleven people, with little light for three days.

We have not had water either; our well can only pump water if it has electricity which most of the Gaza Strip has been denied since this nightmare started.

We are now 11, huddled together in my parents' dining room. My brother and I and our families moved there, thinking that the first floor may be the safest option.

There is a saying in Arabic which says "death in a group is a mercy". I guess if we die together maybe, just maybe, we will feel less of the pain than in doing so alone.

I have had 8 hours sleep since the beginning of this conflict; we can hear attacks almost every minute.

I think to myself, if one of us is injured or needs medical attention what will happen? Ambulances are finding it difficult to reach civilians, roads are blocked by rubble, Israeli forces in their path - you could bleed to death.

Even if they did get to us, maybe we would be bombed on our way to the hospital. If we did reach the hospital there might not be enough room to treat us - there is little medication or equipment or any electricity to fuel the life-saving equipment. We would not even be able to get out of Gaza for the life-saving treatment we needed.

Hospitals are now running on back-up generators making life even more difficult for the doctors who are trying to cope with the influx of the injured. If fuel runs out for the generators, those on life-saving equipment will perish.

I heard a woman calling into a radio station today - ambulance services could not reach her and I guess she thought the radio station might be able to do something. She was wailing down the phone "our home is on fire, my children are dying, help me". I do not know what happened to her and her children - I do not want to imagine.

I spend much of my time thinking that this could be the last hour of my existence.

As I try to fall asleep, I hear on the radio the numbers of people who have died rising by the hour. I wonder if tomorrow morning, I will be part of that body count, part of the next breaking news.

I will be just another number to all those watching the death and destruction in Gaza or maybe the fact that I work for Oxfam will mean that I will be a name and not just a number. I might be talked about for a minute and moments later forgotten, like all those other people who have had their lives taken away from them.

I am not afraid of dying - I know that one day we all must die. But not like this, not sitting idly in my home with my children in my arms waiting for our lives to be taken away. I am disgusted by this injustice.

What is the international community waiting for - to see even more dismembered people and families erased before they act? Time is ticking by and the numbers of dead and injured are increasing. What are they waiting for?

What is happening is against humanity, are we not human?

Extracted from Gaza Diary: Are We Not Human? from AlJazeera.net

BusyBee

My life has been so busy lately. What with SC, PPIM, the tutoring programme, classes and other various activities,most of the time i've got my hands full. It's been hard to really relax without something reminder sneaking through my thoughts about something i have to do. Only yesterday, i was wastching this movie that i had been waiting quite a while to watch- it was a sad meloncholic type of Japanese Anime and i was in the perfect mood to watch. Unfortunately, the viewing experience was greatly disturbed- i got 3 phone calls throughout the first 45 minutes and by that time there was no way i could be watching it peacefully.

But i'm not complaining actually. Being this busy actually makes me feel contented. haha. Does that sound weird? But it does really. It feels like i'm actually doing something and that there is meaning to me days. I'm constantly in Monica mode nowadays. I have to be if i don't want to get so cluttered. Used to be i could never follow the timetables or schedules i made, but i'm getting better at it. The satisfaction of ticking off something you have done on your list it immensely satisfying.

On another note, the tutor programme finally officially started next week. I'm really really happy it's actually being done. We proposed the tutor projects as one of the activities under our Academic Bureau in PPIM and ever since ten i've been eager to start it. Alhamdullilah, things are going smoothly so far. At first i was a bit worried that it wasn't going to get much sambutan- tutee wise. But it turned out that loads of students wanted to join. Insya-Allah as time goes by, this programme will help make a difference.